Barriers - Taehyung || Complete

Ch. 20

I froze still in his arms. He kept his arms around me while his eyes remained closed and his breathing soft. Did he just tell me he loves me? Love?? My mind is thinking a million little things but I can't seem to focus on the more important thing. Do I love Taehyung?

I realized I stopped breathing when it felt like my heart was going to beat out my chest. I slightly moved and it finally woke him up. His eyes slowly opened and he blinked a few times before he was focused on me. He closed his eyes and smiled. "Mmm, good morning babygirl."

"Good morning." I shifted myself upright. "You need to get ready for the show today. We're leaving in forty minutes." 

He pouted, "I want to sleep more, noona."

"You can't, you need to get up and perform. After that you can come back here and go to sleep. Everyone else is already awake and getting ready, I suggest you start that now."

He groaned loudly and sat upright in his bed, rubbing his eye. "Noona?" I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. "Does my hair look okay?"

In preparation for their comeback, Taehyung had to dye his hair half blonde and half pink like in their music video. I missed his normal hair color but honestly, any hair color will look amazing on him. I ran my fingers through his bedhead. "Of course it does. You're hair looks great no matter what." I then kissed him on the lips keeping it long. 

He put his hand to my cheek and pulled me in deeper. It's these little things he does that makes me fall even harder for him. But to love him? I feel like something is stopping me from feeling that way about him. When we separated I asked, "Do you know what you said to me this morning?" I scanned his face to see if he would hide the truth from me. But all I saw...was confusion.

"Was I sleep talking again?" And that...made my heart sink. "I say some weird things when I sleep talk. What did I say?"

"N-nothing, it's not really important." I kissed him on the cheek and got up from his bed. "Come on, go get ready." I walked out the room trying to control my breathing and trying not to cry. If I'm not sure if I love him or not then why am I feeling this way? If he doesn't remember telling me loves me, does he even feel that way? Does he even have real genuine feelings for me? I held onto my chest feeling every beat of my heart, going fast. I walked out into the kitchen to get a bottle water hoping it will calm me down. Walking into the kitchen I saw Jin making himself a quick bowl of cereal. When he noticed me, his immediately put his bowl down and walked over to me grabbing my face with both of his hands. 

He grabbed his translator. "Are you okay, y/n? You look pale."

I stared up at him and when I finally got a chance to exhale, the tears came down. Jin widened his eyes, grabbed my hand and led me into his room. Namjoon was still in the shower so it was just the two of us. He sat me on his bed and he sat next to me putting his arm around me, rubbing it up and down my arm to comfort me. His comfort helped me to not completely break down crying. We sat in silence until I was ready to talk.

"I don't know what to do, oppa." I started. "I..heard something today that's completely messing me up because now I don't know if it is true or not. And if it's not true...I don't know if I can continue like this."

"What do you mean?"

I deeply inhaled and exhaled, quietly saying, "I think I'm in love with him."

Jin widened his eyes and stood up from his bed. "What?!" he yelled quietly. I looked up at him as if I was in trouble but he regretted his actions and sat next to me continuing to comfort me. "I'm sorry, that might have been an overreaction. But...really? You think you love Tae?"

I nodded my head and sighed. "When I was trying to wake him up earlier he told me he loved me. But it was in his sleep. And apparently he doesn't remember saying it. So now I don't know if he actually means it. I don't want to tell him how I feel if he isn't going to feel the same way."

Jin got up from his spot and again to crouch down in front of me. He took both of my hands in one of his hand and used the other to wipe my tears. "Do you want to know a secret?" I sniffled and nodded my head. "Did you ever wonder why after your contract was revised why none of us except for Taehyung engaged in anything sexual with you?"

"I did, actually. When Bang PD told me the situation I figured I would be helping all of your needs."

"We did. But we all respectfully withdrew that thought after hearing what Taehyung had to say."

I stared into Jin's eyes and tilted my head. "What did he say?"

"On that day after Bang PD told us he would talk to you about the new contract, Namjoon asked all of us who wanted something sexual with you and who just wanted friendship. Obviously," he looked down and chuckled. "We all wanted to have something sexual with you." I lightly laughed in amusement. Jin looked back up to me and his face turned serious. "Taehyung had the courage to tell us that he wanted you for himself and he wanted the rest of us to only be friends with you. We have all had to share things for as long as we have known each other and he wanted one thing that he could call his and his only...you."

I looked away trying to process everything he is saying as he continued. "He knew from the moment he looked into your eyes that there was something special about you that he needed to know. If I'm being honest, I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. You make him happy, y/n. And that is why I think...he's in love with you."

My eyes shifted back to look at Jin and he gave me a reassuring smile. After hearing the reason why it was only Taehyung who pursued anything sexual with me, things became very clear. The rapid beating of my heart and the fear of losing him when all of this is over explains only one thing.

I'm in love with Taehyung.