Fuse

eleven | out out

S P E N C E R J A M E S O N

When I wake up the next day I notice Marshall isn't in the bed beside me. Feeling slightly relieved, I roll over and peer up at the window as the strong beams of sunlight shine through the curtain.

My eyes sting as I try opening them fully, wishing that I had stayed asleep for longer. My dreams are my happy place. My time to be me, to be free and do whatever I wish. It's where my happily ever after's come true and my dreams become possible. My what if, my ideal reality, my own story.

Sleep is the only time I can forget about my pain, my problems and my stress. In those few hours, I'm able to just forget everything. All too often, sleep is my only escape.

I loved and got hurt, really hurt.. and because of that, something inside of me just kind of shut off. I felt so much that I eventually started feeling nothing. It's like each day my soul seems to die that little bit more. The light that once shone throughout me has now dimmed so much, to the point where all I can see is darkness.

Footsteps on the hard wooden floor make me jump and I bunch the bed sheets into my hands as tightly as possible as Marshall appears in the doorway. "I wondered when you'd bother waking up. I'll be working late tonight so I'll bring the spare key with me." He says dismissively as he simply turns around and walks back out of the room.

Suddenly it was quiet. He was gone and I could finally breathe.

As I walk into the kitchen I glance over at my phone on the sofa. I must have left it there last night. The screen comes to life as I pick it up and my eyes widen at the amount of messages and missed calls I've received.

13 missed calls and 18 messages.. all from Harlow.

Oh crap, I forgot to text her last night.

Just as I go to dial her number her caller ID appears on the screen.

"Hey, I'm sorry I —"

"Do you know how worried I've been! I thought something had happened to you Spencer!" She cuts me off, her voice getting louder with every passing word.

I sigh, running a hand through my long wavy hair, "I'm sorry I totally forgot to message you."

"What time did you get home?" She asks and a small smirk appears on my face as I pull my lip between my teeth.

"Uh, I didn't go home last night." I reply, cautiously moving the phone away from my ear so I don't lose my hearing when she reacts.

"What!!? Oh my god you stayed with Kane didn't you? Spencer Belle Jameson, what the hell!"

I roll my eyes and my brows furrow together at her for purposely saying my whole name. "Nothing happened, I just locked myself out and he offered to let me stay in one of his spare rooms." I clarify and she sighs, even though I can practically sense her expression on the other end of the phone.

I walk over to the sofa and sit down, staring up at the ceiling as I wait for her to say something.

"Well my night with Asher was interesting.." she starts and my eyes widen as I suddenly remember she spent the night with him. "It was so interesting that we might be doing it again tonight."

"What!? Oh Harlow, wow." She laughs on the other end of the phone and I can't help but smile.

She deserves to be happy. Her last boyfriend was an idiot and she caught him cheating on her with one of the girls at the bar. They were together for nearly two years as well. It's crazy how you can just do that to someone you're supposed to love. I don't understand it.