Fuse

thirty | your place

S P E N C E R J A M E S O N

I wake up to the sound of Kane's heart beating against my ear. I'm pretty much laying completely on top of him. How the hell did that happen?

My eyes flick over to the window and I watch as the curtain covering his balcony blows with the subtle breeze. The sound of birds tweeting brings me back to reality and I smile as I snuggle my face into his chest.

I still don't think I've processed anything that's happened. It just feels like a complete nightmare.

My body still aches and I feel completely drained, both physically and mentally. I know I'm strong though. I have to be. I'll manage to get through this somehow, I always do.

I just hope Kane still wants me after all this. Honestly, I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to walk away. Especially with everything that's happened to me.

I've struggled so much over the past few months, finding it difficult to differentiate from true and false feelings, and pretences.

I trace my index finger in small circles over his chest as I patiently wait for him to wake up. I watch him carefully as he sleeps, the way his chest rises and falls, the way his full lips part ever so slightly with every breath. He doesn't seem to have a single flaw. How is that even possible?

After a while his eyes begin to flutter open and when they land on mine, I break out into a cheesy smile. "Good morning beautiful," he whispers as he lifts his hand to run through my hair.

"Good morning." I answer happily. I haven't had a good morning in such a long time.

His eyes watch me intently, his pupils dilating. There's something about brown eyes you know, I can't really explain it but they're just so warm. It's crazy, I mean have you ever seen brown eyes in the sun? They aren't always easy to notice at first but you soon discover that brown is no longer the word to describe them. They seem to just melt into golden rays and pools of honey. There is nothing boring about brown eyes, nothing at all, not even when the hours go by and the sun starts to fade; they just seem to turn into the sunset of their own.

They're perfect. I'm almost envious that mine aren't as beautiful as his. Mine are just a dark green, nothing exciting.

They shift and focus on my arm as it rests on his chest. "You didn't get that from a cat did you?" He asks, referring to the scar on my arm that he saw before. I shake my head but he doesn't say anything, instead his eyes continue looking at my skin. "Did he give you all of these too?" His fingers trailing over the small scars and marks that cover parts of my arms.

I sigh, nodding as I watch him trace his finger over each one. "They don't bother me that much anymore." I tell him and he pulls me up towards him, kissing my forehead.

"Are you going to tell your parents?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders. I know I probably should but how am I supposed to even break that kind of news to them? I've been lying to them for so long, how will they ever forgive me?

"I don't know how to, I can't exactly tell them over the phone." I reply.

He looks at me, continuing to run his fingers through my hair. "So don't, they can come here or we can go to them, whatever you want."