Fuse

two | no escape

S P E N C E R   J A M E S O N

Leaving my home was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I did it.. for Marshall. Everything I've done has been for him. My whole life was in San Diego. My family, my friends, my childhood. But Marshall kept telling me that my life is wherever I'm most happy, and that it didn't matter where we were, as long as we were together.

"What's in this shit?" His voice snaps me from my trance and my eyes shoot up from my plate to meet his. His expression is completely blank, apart from his clenched jaw.

Oh no.

My lips part and I fumble over my words, too nervous to speak because I know what's coming. In one swift movement he swings his arm out and swipes the plate off the table and across the floor, shattering it into tiny pieces.

I gasp, jumping at the sudden impact and squeeze my eyes shut from the smashing sound. "Are you trying to kill me? It's fucking disgusting!" He stands up abruptly and hits his hand against the table. "Forget it, I'll just go out and get some decent food elsewhere. Clean this up before I get back."

He grabs his jacket and storms out of the room, slamming the front door behind him, leaving me all alone.

I haven't blinked yet. Still in complete shock. It's like every time this happens my body goes into shut down mode. I can't move, and I almost forget to even breathe.

At least I wasn't the target this time.

I remember the first time it ever happened, he came home drunk after losing out on a contract with another big company. I tried to comfort him like we usually did to each other but it was like something flipped inside of him.

He was so angry and the drink probably didn't help either. He grabbed me by the throat and pushed me up against the wall. I couldn't breathe. It was like each time I struggled or kicked out, his grip tightened. I can still remember the sensation of his fingers digging into my skin.

He smashed my head against the wall and then he hit me. One straight blow to the face. I fell to the floor and cried out, trying to shield my face with my arms as much as possible.

He stopped instantly and knelt down to me, almost crying at what he'd done. He begged me to look at him and kept telling me how sorry he was over and over.

He said he was drunk and he didn't know what he was doing. "I'll never do that again Spencer.. I'll never hurt you again, I promise."

Yet again, another broken promise.

The second time he was completely sober and the beating was worse. But once again, he apologised profusely and kept begging for my forgiveness, telling me he'd never hurt me again.

It continued, eventually becoming worse and more frequent. It's got to the point where I'm now ridiculously sensitive to loud sounds, raised voices or sudden movements. I flinch at almost everything. Even down to a dog barking or thunder during a storm.

The dark. Another one of my biggest fears. Ever since I was little I've been absolutely petrified of it. I'm still not quite sure why or what triggered it, but even now, at twenty-two I'm still scared.

Marshall knows that too.

He's used it against me on more than one occasion, to the point where I've actually cried so much that I made myself physically sick.

At first it was just turning the lights off and eventually putting them back on, but then as time went by he began doing it a lot more. This time, just leaving the lights off completely.

I'd be too scared to even move from the bed so I'd just lay there with my eyes closed and cry, and cry.

I don't actually think there's anything I'm not scared of now.

I push my chair back and stand up, walking over to the pieces of china scattered around the wooden floor. My hands tremble as I reach for each broken piece, being as careful as possible not to cut myself.

Tears slip down my cheeks and fall onto the floor as I collect the pieces of my grandmothers plate. These were from her special collection. Her favourites.

Something else he's managed to take from me.

I wanted to try to hide them from him when they were given to me, but he insisted on having them out so we can put them to use. He told me he would break them all if I didn't — now I guess he's done that anyway.

Never in my life did I ever think I'd be in a situation like this. I've always been able to take up for myself and have never let people treat me with disrespect that I didn't deserve, but with him.. it's completely different.

He scares me. Petrifies me actually.

He's a lot stronger and larger than me, and able to use that to his advantage, which he hasn't had a problem doing at all as of yet.

I've tried countless times to leave him but it's impossible. When I first tried, he hit me so hard I almost fractured my eye socket. I couldn't see out of it for weeks. The pain was excruciating, and it looked as bad as it felt too.

He threatened my life if I ever tried again. He said he would actually kill me.

I knew he could too. He had the power and the money. All he had to do was take out a hit on me if he didn't want to do it himself.

That was enough for me to know not to try to leave again. So I'm trapped. Trapped in a violent, loveless relationship that I can't see any way of getting away from.

There's just no escape.

No escaping him, no escaping the constant fear that consumes me every day, no escaping the bruises and hurt. There's just no way for this to end.

If you had told me three years ago that my life would be like this I would have thought you were crazy. I could never have imagined things would turn out like this.

It's like I'm living with a monster. That's all he is to me now. A monster. Like the ones you try to escape from in your nightmares, only when I wake up from mine.. he's still there.

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Hey guys!

I Hope you're enjoying the story so far.
I understand it's a little deep but just give it a few more chapters and things will begin to get very interesting..

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