Aphotic ✔️

chapter 1- new beginnings

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Everyone grows up with certain things in life that they wish they could change, they have particular insecurities and traumas that may seem like nothing to the world but to them they're the sole reason of their sufferings.

My life to the world seemed perfect, I had rich parents that were humble and never showed of their wealth but the world knew they were rich. A spoilt girl who studied in private and the best schools and had a huge friend circle. What happened behind the scenes however could not be seen or felt by anyone but myself.

Fairytales were never my bed time stories as a child, love was never my hope and I grew up way before I should've. I was never taught to give love or to love. I made mistakes, confused the selfishness of lust with the purity of love; mistakes that'll haunt me forever and I'll continue to make these mistakes until my lonely heart knows what love is.

I grew up being reminded every second that boys are not capable of love, i should maintain my distance from every boy because apparently they are all the same. I was shown and taught that I was not capable of being loved and unknowingly the barriers around my heart started to build, so strong that even I can't reach to what's hidden inside; I feel...dead.

'True love? Does it really exist? Or am i too terrified to embrace it? How do i even know if it's love? What does it feel like being in love?'

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I stood in front of the vast school gates clenching the straps of my bag lingering on my shoulder more firmly than I should as I sighed closing my eyes feeling my heart palpitate erratically and my body tingling sending a shot of adrenaline through my veins.

With one final sigh of courage I finally stepped inside my legs suddenly feeling wobbly and weaker than before, my eyes vaguely went through the whole of the building "beacon high" written at the very top with a shade of red and maroon around it. It was one of the best institute in Seattle, with a luxurious building and classy environment, but I was yet to know the dark secrets that this building hid within its walls.

Entering the reception office the first thing that caught my eye was a group of boys, no more than four. The glass door creaked open causing everyone to turn their head as an instinctive reflex. Unbuttoned shirts, unmade collars, side smirks and eyebrow raises, the typical bad boy gang of the school.

Ignoring the unwanted eyes on me I turned towards the receptionist with a smile on my face, she looked rather young and friendly with blue eyes and long ginger hair. "Iris tan" she spoke running her hand through a pile of papers as I looked around the lobby, trying not to make eye contact with any one of the boys.

"Sophomore year, you can get your schedule from the coordinator's office on the right" she finally looked up from the pile of papers, smiling warmly at me as I bowed slightly returning the smile.

"Thank you" I mumbled as the bell rang causing the boys to groan as they stood up lazily moving out of the office as I followed them closely behind.

"Fuck school man, I'm going to end up polishing shoes my whole life" I heard one of them speak in the distance as I entered the office with a trivial smile on my face.

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I climbed up a set of stairs internally crying looking at the busy schedule before a loud voice in the distance caught my attention

"Where the fuck is Arron he has all my fucking notes." My eyebrows raised up in astonishment at the amount of cursing used in a single sentence.

"Do sober students even exist in this school?" i sighed as i went up the stairs towards my class. After the necessary but totally useless introduction i moved towards my chair feeling numerous eyes on me as I internally screamed at myself to calm down and act normal. Finally sitting down on my chair, I rubbed my sweaty palms against my black skirt.