I yearned for so long to tell him I love him, there were so many moments when I wanted to pour my heart out for him and tell me how he's the only one that lights up the world for me. I hoped he would say it first because I would never have the courage to.
Now that he did I question myself
What is this rising fear in my chest? Why do I keep wanting to run away? Why do I keep wanting to cry? When those words were exactly what I wanted to hear... What I wanted to believe
"I need to go" I rushed out of the kitchen as I heard arron sadly sigh
With every step I took against my heart I wanted to scream and cry, I wanted to curse and hate myself more for destroying the only good thing I ever have and maybe ever will In this life of black and white.
Before my thoughts could torment me more I felt a strong girp on my wrist, I was relieved that he stopped me from leaving but what was I going to say or do was a struggle that was killing me inside
"don't leave" his voice was uncertain and his eyes empty as he looked down at the floor unable to meet my now glossy eyes
He nervously gulped before speaking
"I'm sorry" his voice came out as a whisper
And that's all it took to broke my heart, what was I doing? Why am I doing this? Why is he sorry? Why is he in so much pain? Nothing made sense.
"you don't love me" I whispered back with tears evident in my eyes as I looked at his hand that clenched my wrist tightly, as if I'd dissaper any moment
He scoffed sadly as he looked up at the roof
"how can you say that to me?" his voice was full of pain and anger, his hold on my wrist tightening as his jaw clenched, the corners of his eyes filled with tears
"they all say that.. It's not love you'll get over it" my throat burnt as I forced the words out of my mouth trying to maintain a straight voice
"I've never said that to anyone" he softly spoke with a hint of bitterness still in his voice
"you at least should know that better than anyone" he spoke
'I know arron'
'I know it all, I'm sorry that you had to love someone terrible like me'
My heart shattered as I slowly pulled my arm away from his grip as it fell to his side limply. His eyes were filled with tears and I could almost see myself in the pain and emptiness that resided there as his lips tumbled trying to control his tears
"I'm sorry" that's all I could shamelessly mutter before leaving the house, leaving him behind after breaking all that was left of him
____________________
As I reached home I sighed slumping my bag somewhere near the couch not even bothering to take it up to my room
"iris?" I heard my mom call as I turned around
"yes mom" I spoke hoping that she won't initiate a meaningless conversation here
"is the new medicine okay" she continued as she sat down on the tan leather accent chair displayed in the living room
"nothing new"
"i feel like shit all the time, can't sleep, eat or focus but it's alright since I don't have a say in any of this" I blurted out ignoring my mom's shocked expression as she stood up slowly staring at my face in utter shock with wide eyes
YOU ARE READING
Aphotic ✔️
RomansaYou took everything that was left within me with you, i offered my everything to you and now i have nothing left inside me to keep going on, you took my heart and left me here in the rain. how did i even fall this deep? how did you end up becoming m...
