Aphotic ✔️

Chapter 79- decision

I lost count of what time it was as i lay beside arron, his arm on my waist as he slept peacefully.

'don't let me leave too'

His words repeated in my head over and over again, an uneasy feeling making it's way to my gut.

'what did he mean by that?'

I turned my body to the side now facing arron. What if he leaves? did something happen? why would he leave? is he hiding something from me again?

with one final sigh i removed his arm from my waist, careful not to wake him up.

I was about to get off the bed when i felt it shift behind me, arron groaning in his sleep.

"iris?" he sat up supporting his body with his elbow, his eyes barely open.

"where are you going?" he asked rubbing his eye.

where was i going? i had no idea.

"i need water" i spoke feeling bad about the fact that i woke him up after he had such a tiring day.

"it's on the side-table" he spoke, his eyes opened fully now although he was still sleepy. i could tell by his face that he sensed something was wrong.

"oh that..." i sat back on the bed again not wanting to make another excuse again.

"come here" he whispered as i laid my head on his chest, feeling his steady heart that provides  sense of comfort to my body and shushes my mind of all thoughts.

"what's bothering you" he continued after a moment of silence as i wrapped my arms around him.

"i don't know" i spoke closing my eyes with a sigh.

"i'm sorry i woke you up" i snuggled in his chest, my voice muffled.

"let's go to sleep now" arron whispered in a husky voice, pressing a kiss on the top of my head.

Arron pulled the blanket over us, securing me in his embrace and God how i wanted to stay there forever without a worry.

_

The morning after i woke up early since mom and dad had to come home.

"mom?" i spoke as she entered through the main door with dad alongside her.

she embraced me into a hug as i did the same.

I walked towards my dad in an awkward hug without a word as we moved towards the living room.

After moments of meaningless conversation mom finally spoke.

"Will you be able to study in the same school?" she asked as silence engulfed the living room.

"what else can i do?" i replied after a moment of silence looking at mom sitting across the couch.

"we...talked to a school in Australia" My dad spoke hesitantly as i raised my eyebrows questionably.

"w...what are you guys talking about" i looked at my mom and then back at my dad as they glanced at each other knowingly.

"Iris, our business is not stable after what happened. Everyone in your school must now by now and it'll be hard for you..." my mom spoke trying to convince me with valid reasons.

"no mom" i laughed nervously.

"arron is here, i can't leave" I scanned her face, tears filling the brim of my eyes.

"do you think after all that happened you both are emotionally stable enough to be with each-other?" my mother questioned as arron's words flashed through my mind once again.

'don't let me leave too'

He thought of leaving? was it too hard for him? am i pushing him too much? does he need time? will we end up hating each other if we continue this way? is my mom right or wrong?

"i can't leave him" i whispered my eyes now full of tears.

"just one more year, complete high school and come back" my mother spoke.

"if he really loves you, he'll wait and understand" she finished 

"mom i-" i shook my head no, the idea of being far away from him leaving me terrified.

"think about it, tell me until tomorrow" she spoke standing up from the couch followed by my dad as i held my head in my hands.

'what's gonna happen to us now?'

_

I held the hem of my grey dress tighter as i stood in front of his gate. He opened the gate, his dark eyes staring right into  mine. the blank expression of my face resembling his. where was the light in his eyes that i saw every time we were together? why isn't my body filling up with the same euphoric feeling?

i love him, i love him so fucking much i know i do.

"arron" i spoke looking down at the ground.

"come inside first" he spoke, his voice serious as ever.

he knew

He knew what i was going to talk about and i knew what he was going to talk about.

The sun was setting in the distance, the moon preparing to shine through the darkness as we entered his room, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I love you" he spoke staring in the distance as my heart clenched in pain knowing what will come next.

"i love you too" i replied, my voice slightly wavering.

"I'll probably never stop loving you" he whispered gulping his tears back.

"me too" i spoke as we finally looked at each other, eyes full with tears of separation as he bought his lips to mine.

His lips so hard yet so gentle against mine, after a long kiss he finally pulled apart; his lips still lingering onto mine, refusing to let me go.

"i'm leaving for Australia tomorrow" i whispered, a tear leaving my eye, my forehead still against his.

"when...when will you come back?" his voice came out barely audible.

"next year" i forced the words out pf my throat as his lips met mine again.

His hands finding their way to my waist as he pulled me closer to him, kissing me like it's his last as i did the same.

"when we meet again, let's not bring up our past" i spoke as he pulled away with his eyes closed.

"I'll meet you being someone i can be proud of" he whispered back.

"don't ever forget me"  his hands found their way to my cheek.

"How can i ever forget you love?" More tears left my eyes as i leaned my face towards his hand.

"tell me to stay arron and i won't leave" i begged, now sobbing.

He shook his head no with a sad smile on his face.

"I need to let go of you right now iris" his voice broke.

"I need to let go of you until i can let go of all my demons, i can't hurt you more than this"

"I know you'll say it doesn't matter but it does to me." he gulped back.

His hand traveled to my stomach where the bullet wound was.

"look what i did to you" he looked back at me.

"Arron, i really don't want to leave. Please i'll so anything you say" i cried like a child not caring if my words made sense at all or if i was too desperate and even annoying him.

Without another word he pulled me close, holding my trembling body against his.

"Do you even know how much i love you? How much i care for you? it's only you for me iris, no one can take your place...give me time, until i think i'm good enough for you"

"You opened the door to light for me, let me enter it myself now my love. Wait for me until then"

"i always have and always will love you"