Am I 'Absolute'?

136: The lonely Lola /1

So Lola isn't new to me but for the one person who might still be reading this- she's new to you. She's a character who I have come to love and she's flawed and makes mistakes, can be selfish or altruistic. She's a hurt and lonely girl but somehow she's still going and although she's fiction, I admire her courage.

Lola's fridge magnets:
An umbrella of clouds
A wave of birds
Desert of blue above
The road is my destination
A dying water
A breath long week
Moss freckles on the bark's skin
Faint sunlight dusts
Blush in the morning's face

Lola's diary:
I sleep. I sleep a lot. It's the best part of the day. It's the greatest sport our bodies have ever thought of and the most delicious meal for the soul. Sleep is heaven. God is sleep. There aren't enough hours in the day for sleep. So yeah, I sleep a lot. And I want to sleep more. I want to sleep more and more and more and more. I want to sleep forever. Forever and ever and ever. The only thing better than sleep is more sleep. Being awake. Pfft. No. Just sleep. Loads and loads of dream filled sleeps, naps, earlier than early bedtimes, pitch black sleep, dreamless sleep, half-remembered thoughts sleep, filing all of the day's events into different cabinets and heaving a beautiful satisfying sigh when you finish processing, that kind of sleep.
So by now, you should be able to guess what I don't like...
Meat. I hate it- how do people eat that stuff? Just the smell and... no... never mind I might throw up if I go into it. So yeah. I love sleep and I hate meat. Hey it rhymes!
Well, maybe I should have started this like normal people, but normal people bore me, that's why I love humans so much- they are so weird and unique and of course who couldn't love a little piece of God. Yup. I'm Christian. And proud of it too, I believe that God is everywhere and therefore God is humans and therefore I love humans. Indeedie-do-dahs.
So yeah, to the normal! I am Lola. A girl with a weekly suicide membership card and an emotion-wringing, karma-riddled, pain-shattering, lethargic life to pay for that card. As of seven days ago on Tuesday the 3rd of December I turned sixteen. I think sixteen is a lucky number at least. I think. Maybe. Perhaps. Probably. Are there any more words for 'I think'? Because if there are then just sub 'em in too.
I love music. I love playing and listening to music. There is this girl in my dreams, she plays music with me, our favourite song is 'Breezeblocks' by 'Alt J' and damn our harmonising is good. She calls herself a celestial name that I can never remember when I wake up, but I call her the 'Candy girl.' Because she is so bright and bubbly and has long, blonde hair and has real problems, real, genuine human problems. She is anxious and struggles with people just as much as I do and she is just so real. Her timing is impeccable, whenever I need someone, she just appears that moment and she is the only reason I'm not insane or insanely lonely. The lonely Lola. Huh. It has a melancholic run to it. I like it: The lonely Lola. I think that is what I will call this book.

Lola's blue eyes:
\/You see I've been exhausted for the past two years, it's just finally showing outwardly the past few days, get some sleep. \/

Lola's diary:
14:36 Tuesday 17th December
She stands on the edge of the black bridge in the black night and she's freezing. Her black hair snapping against her skull out over the edge in the storm. Clouds, enormous, hungry clouds coil and growl in the ugly purples and in the ugly greys. The river is eating her soul and her body just stands there. Looking at me. Mouthing words expressionlessly and looking at me.