Am I 'Absolute'?

8: The vast smallness

   It's the small hurt that injures the most. Spreads from your very soul and seeps into the rest of your body. The pain may feel the most deadly when the horrid emotions are like ripping storms and hideous thunder and choking cold seas that come from a sudden void from a deep abyss.
   But it is the worst with the calm oceans. Slowly ebbing away at your core, so deep beneath the hills of waves you barely notice.

   Then you dive down when the hurt is only subtle, thinking you can handle the pain if it is small, when you see the mountain you developed as you have grown from a child. The mountain isn't there, it is weak crumbling rock ready to shatter if you touch it. I didn't realise how I had gotten so used to the storms that I never thought of the small moments, the subtle happiness that should pull such a lone mountain together. But those small pains and happinesses wore away the rock faster than the storms and I realise just how immensely vast the existence of smallness really is.

   I have a whole ocean inside me, yet I only battle the waves.