169: without you

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3 January 2022

I don't need to be alone
I can be embraced
Soothed
And still be so lonely
When I think of your absence.
What is this?
Torture?
The earth biting us back?
Because it is biting
Eating away at me
Gnawing holes into my body
My mind.
I will never have you back.
I will never hug you again.
The earth swallowed you
And it's chewing me too
Even as I am being held
Being given kindnesses and all the wonderful things
You can't have
Can't be given
What am I?
I am not me
Not anymore
Because that me has been devoured
With you
Without you

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