I Remember You... (A Levi x Reader) (Rewritten)

Chapter 24

A/N - I spent days looking for a song for this chapter, and when I found this and listened to it, it literally brought tears to my eyes. The song is so beautiful and strong and I feel like it resembles Levi perfectly.

T/W for depression.

Also, Levi will be saying in this chapter that getting help is 'weak' and I'd like to clarify that it is never weak to get help; getting help for your problems is the strongest thing a human can do. Levi has just been raised with the mindset that if he gets help, then he's weak. He wants to do it on his own. This is also not him saying it because he is a man, as I believe that men's mental health is just as important as anyone else's.

If you ever need help with something, my DMs are open.

"This is getting out of hand!"

Is what Hanji called as they, Levi, and Erwin sit in his office. Levi clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, obviously trying to avoid the conversation that they were about to have - not that he would even get close to getting out of the situation. Miche was guarding the door from outside, even he knew that Levi was getting out of order. "Tch. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Unfortunately, Hanji is right, Levi." Erwin sighed as he started to speak. He wouldn't vocalise it, but he was beginning to get worried about his brother in law. Levi had always been careful on the battlefield, he had never been like this, unless being ordered to do so beforehand, "This is not us attempting to reprimand you, this is us being concerned for your well-being. It can't keep going on like this."

"Exactly!" Hanji eagerly agreed with Erwin's statement, turning to grab Levi's hands. They had of course expected Levi slapping their hand away - and though it was a harsh gesture, it gave them hope. Maybe Levi was still in there somewhere. "Not only are you becoming a danger to yourself, you're becoming a danger to others as well."

That made Levi pause.

He was- he was putting lives at risk?

The two smile softly in hope as Levi tenses in his seat. This was a sign that their plan was working. But of course, they got their hopes up too soon. As the glint reappeared in Hanji's glasses, they decided to speak up. "If you talk to this therapist we spoke to, Levi-"

"No."

So much for that plan.

The pair's smiles fell from their faces as they looked at the shorter man. He had his fists clenched in his lap and he was looking down at the floor, refusing to look at his superiors. Get help? Him? No. That's weak. He couldn't stand down from the battle in his mind, he couldn't share the burden, he couldn't share his everlasting suffering.

Levi swallowed the lump forming in his throat as his hands began to tremble softly, barely noticeable. He could feel the tightness in his chest spread throughout his entire body, paralysing him. He truly was trapped in the bottomless pit of self-hatred - without the light in his life, he had nothing left. He had lost too much, too many people, and though he knew he still had people who cared about him, Y/N had been the last straw. "I don't need anyone looking out for me. Tch. Now, are we done here?"

The pair reluctantly nodded. They had so much they wanted to say, but knew it was pointless. Levi was practically impossible to get through to right now, and they needed to find a solution. But what? It wasn't as if they could bring Y/N back from the dead. It's not as if they could just click their fingers and end Levi's suffering.

As Levi walked out of the office, the two exchanged a glance. Who would Levi open up to? Who could he trust? Hanji knew one person for sure. The one girl in his squad, who he proved to be quite close to.