Evangiline

Chapter One- Squished Grapes

Sooo 2 years into this I realized that this story is dramatic in it's entirety. Legit the storyline is kinda weird. If you wanna try and read this then go on ahead...

I am blind and have been since my sophomore year. And let me tell you- it sucked ass.

   I did not expect it; no one did. My eyes began crusting up at the corners first, then the disease or infection worked it's way through my eyes and to my tear ducts. Then they started swelling one at a time as if to drag out my anguish and torture me.

Back when I could see, i hated to even look at myself. I was never too pretty or easy to look at. Freckles were scattered over my skin like sprinkles on a cupcake. I hated my hair; the curls stayed knotted up and frizzy. I had breakouts every other day- I suppose I do now but I really don't care. Clothes were hard to find that fit me right, all were either too short or too lose. Don't misunderstand me, I did have curves, but my mom insisted that I hide them because "you never know what creeps are out there". I was drawn back socially then too. It was hard for me to have real friends because of the money and power my mom had. Basically, it was a little tough for me.

When it first started, mom thought it was pink eye, but after a trip to the doctor and five prescriptions later, we knew that it was something else. None of the medicine would work no matter how much we prayed and paid... Even the best doctors could not help me.

I missed the last three months of my sophomore year and the underclassman prom- not to mention all the parties and football games. People stopped inviting me places or happened to convienently "forget". Although there were several benefits and events in my honor... It was as if they expected me to die.

I refused to see my few friends that still worried, especially with my eyes looking like squished grapes. My "friends" and teachers called to check on my absences, and my mom promised my return; it never happened.

Almost a month after it all first started, my eyes were swelled and glued almost completely shut. I could not open them at my own will, I had to pry them open and soak the scabs with water and medicine. It was the most painful thing, no doubt, that I had ever been through- besides my dads death.

I had to have my mom rinse them in a special saline solution day and night. It wore her out every day, just as the country and her duties to the citizens of it did.

Eventually she noticed my green eyes getting paler and cloudier. I sensed her uneasiness when she stood over me day by day- the tension grew worse.

My own mother was disgusted with me. I was disgusted with myself...

I was disgusted at how I looked and the way I was. I was disgusted with the pity and the fakeness that poured from everyone around me.

   My infected eyes soon crusted shut like gorilla glue. Every night I would soak a rag in warm water, then leave it on my eyes in hopes that it would help them heal. They never did.

Then after the third month, I went completely blind. Pitch black, midnight blind.

One day I felt her pull my lids apart but everything was gone. The light didn't burn my retinas as it did before. I didn't make out blurry blobs of color- only black.

Her horrific scream was deafening, almost ear shattering. The nearly empty bottle of solution fell from her hands and thudded to the floor. It oozed out the fowl smelling liquid all over my feet.

"Mom! I can't.... I can't see!" I screamed even though it must have been obvious by the way I fumbled. I needed something- anything- to grasp. Something needed to hold me down, to tell me that this was real and no longer just an infection.

My body was heating up so fast that it was terrifying me more than my sight was. The rhythmic beat of my heart turned into a pitter-patter of a drumbeat, slowing down then speeding up.

No. No. No. No.

I started hyperventilating. A sharp pain racked my chest, jolting me with anger and fright. I thought I was having a heart-attack.

My heart beat sped up like an angry hornet in an old coke can, then it dropped ten thousand feet into my stomach. I could not breath or think or move anymore. My thoughts grew cloudier and more disillusioned as the time drew on.

Then I cried. I had not been able to in so long. The tears were hot and burned the scabs that lined my eyes. I drew my hands to my face. Something in me thought that I could wipe it all away and see again, but that was impossible. I would never see again.

My body slumped to the burning floor then it smacked against the counter. I felt so heavy...so heavy and limp. My mother's arms found their way to me and cradled me against her chest. Her heart beat sounded exactly like mine, which did not calm me at all. She tried to comfort me by rocking back and forth and rubbing my hair, but it was all in vain. I could not control my thoughts at the moment. I would have rather died than suffered loss of sight, that was when it all began though. That was before I grew to like my disadvantage.

"Baby, shhh. Shhh.... I'm calling Doctor Crane".

She dropped me on the floor and ran out of the room, leaving me in the dark. My hands reached out, searching for her again but she was not there.

"No. No no no!" I clawed at my eyes foolishly and gasped for breath. I was slowly losing consciousness,  I could feel it.

I heard her shrill voice from the living room. "Her eyes...are so...pale. She can't see. Oh my god! My baby is blind!"

  I was legally, 100% blind. I would no longer see or be able to appreciate the beautiful things in life. I'd never see beautiful rose or the sun set over the Lakefront. I'd never see the big oak tree in my yard or the rain fall on my rocky driveway. Never again. Never.
  
My body shook violently, as did my heart. I had a panic attack.

Before she could make her way to my side again, I let the darkness consume my mind as well. That day was when my old life ended and my new one began.