Evangiline

Chapter Nine- Pathetic

I knew that I would not have his phone number, but I asked Siri any way.

  "Call Charles" I said loudly into the speaker.

  I knew that it would not be in there and that Rosy would not look him up for me, but after all hope is what keeps us humans alive. Maybe my mother put it in.

  "I am sorry Evangiline but there is no contact by that name." the computer's voice said.

  "What the hell?" I said to myself. What was I doing?

I found it odd that  I wanted to see him after how things were. He had not been back in a few days. Only after a few days, I was crushing a bit. Maybe because he was the only man to try and have a relationship with me. Or I was letting him get to me.

   I never felt that way with anyone, but then again I never have let myself really like someone before. I'm pathetic, I know.

    I let him kiss me. I let him into my home... Into my life. He didn't really want me. Our parents were probably forcing him to have a relationship with me. Maybe we could work together and fool them. Maybe I didn't have to be the only one pretending.

  Charles seemed so... sincere the other day when he randomly kissed. He could have fooled me. It could have been to trip me up or it could have been real.

It really did not matter in the end, all I needed was for my mom and Charles to believe me. What could have been so bad that she wanted me to fall in love? Of course it would never happen without her intervention though.
 
My mother would still be gone for three more days because her trip was extended by tow days so I had no one to talk to. I had no friends or siblings, no one but my maid.
 
        ...........

   "What?" I yelled into the phone. "Another week?"
 
"Yes. Mississipi, Alabama, and Georgia's senators are going out for lunch in two days. Then I have a bid deal to discuss. Plus I figured that a meeting with Mr. P," -that was code name for the president- "would do Louisiana just fine."

  "Mom, please no. Stop leaving me."

  "Listen, Evangiline. I have to go now. Tylids here."

  With that, she hung up.

  My mother was being more mysterious than usual. Work was tough on her, the bags under her eyes and the crease between her eyes showed it. Being a little busy was no reason to ignore your child. I mean she barely even listened to me anymore. It was like I didn't exist.

              .........................

"I see a light, but not with my eyes.
I see it in my mind, it prevents lies.
It beacons me, draws me in so that I will understand.
But to understand is to stand under which you did not stand under before." My computer read. None of what I had just written made sense. It was a little weird, I must admit.

   I knelt on the floor beside my bed and reached my hand out underneath it for the bottle. When my hand touched it I yanked it out, accidentally pulling the top off. My Skyy Vodka spilled on the carpet underneath the bed.

  "Shit shit shit!" I yelled.

  I gently pulled it the rest of the way out and screwed the top back on. The 80 proof alcohol smell was strong, I guess it would be if it was distilled four damn times and had an alcohol percent that high.

   I pulled my big glass out and poured a full shot. Well...actually I poured about five of them. I kept drinking and drinking until I completely forgot what I was depressed about. Eventually my consciousness faded away and I was left with dreams of solidarity.