Vivid Imagination

Symbol of peace

By the time I was in my late teens, my imagination took me places in my life where most people would never experience in a lifetime.  Maladaptive daydreaming had taught me more about the world than any textbook, any person could ever teach. My knowledge was all from the soul, the heart and I had the experience of all these things like I had really been there. As I got older I merged this knowledge and experience into my present life and again I believe that both worlds were fighting to win my complete existence. This was a tug of war and I wasn't ready to let go of either. I knew at this point in my life, my dreams of being famous and an entertainer was just a fantasy and I was convinced that it was just the luck of the draw. I was having trouble keeping up with two very different characters and determining who I was and who I should be to whom. It was leading me down the path of a mental breakdown. I wanted this so bad that I just spoke like it was real. I convinced my subconscious that this was true, but to others around me I became a big dreamer that lied to myself. I did have a problem stretching the truth but at least I based it on truth ..... Once you tell one you tell another and then it becomes a saga you have to continue to keep yourself above water. Well, I sank several times, but even when you sink it is still easier to tell another lie to soften that fall. It is addictive, unstoppable and a complete trap.

I wanted people to believe that I was the star that I was in my head. Anyone that has maladaptive daydreaming understands when I say if I knew I was a star, then I was what I say I am. Imagination is a rare experience that you intimately understand with a passion. I had mentioned earlier about the law of attraction and maladaptive daydreaming and how connected I believe the two are. When we think about the steps we must take to manifest what we want, we first have a desire. A desire for something we want to attract in our life. Then we must imagine, and not only imagine but physically act out as though we have it. Believe and carry on like we already have it. This is walking in faith that there will be no other way but this. Feel the emotion that comes with this in your life, be excited and tell the universe how grateful you are. LIVE YOUR LIFE AS THOUGH IT IS REAL, LIVE, BREATHE, LOVE, AND ENJOY WHAT IT IS YOU DESIRE! .... Sound familiar?

My desire for being an entertainer burned inside me which was an instinct, it was the universe, my soul saying to me that this is running through your blood and is very important so make this happen. The best part of being a child is we really don't have much doubt or negative actions to fall on because we don't have the sting from past experiences that we have ill feelings for. This dream of mine tugged at me and started from the time I was in a foster home where I was introduced to dress up clothes and make believe. I still get anxiety when I see an inspiring costume. So having the imagination that God gave me made some very detailed places I wanted to take this passion of mine. This is were it began, I desired to be wearing these beautiful clothes in front of adoring fans who loved me and accepted me. This is what I imagined everyday and so detailed it took me away where I knew it wasn't real but it was to my heart, mind and soul; and that's the reality of it. When this happens, this is where you can move mountains so you have to really be careful what you are obsessing about. This takes notice by the universe, it sees what you are desiring, speaking and feeling. The more you speak through your actions and emotions things will begin to happen. In other words in the law of attraction, you will start manifesting what you are putting out.

It was until I was 40 years old did I realize that I had been manifesting my entire life, yet I never saw it. Did you know that miracles happen to us everyday of our lives and they are true gifts from God? We get so caught up in our worries, our life, people and negativity that we do not see these. There can also be an occasion where you meet someone and we had no idea at the time the impact we had on them and we find out later on how life changed because of us. So many stories which we all have.

When we think about the events that happened to us that led us to be the people we are we cannot forget to look for the good that came out of it all. I had shared about the abuse I went through which most people just stay there and dwell upon but if you really think back on a time in your life that wasn't so happy you can find a miracle in the midst of it all. Going back again to my early years where I could still be blaming all my problems I have today on but instead I looked back and under all the darkness that occurred, I missed the most important blessings and miracles that came from those times. Things that happened in which I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am today if it weren't for these events. I was just so focused on what had happened to me that I didn't acknowledge anything else .