Vivid Imagination

The law of retraction

You know those times when we are eating our favorite meal, and you can't think of anything better. The taste of the food, the environment, the company is just on one high frequency and then it happens... you bite the side of your cheek! It hurts, but you shake it off, and then it happens again and again because everything you bite it makes it easier to do it again. By the third day you can enjoy anything because your cheek is about to fall off and your attitude has gone from high frequency to low bad energy about more than just your cheek.
This is an example of how the law of attraction works in reverse. There are so many people that live their lives this way. When one bump in the road happens, it is so easy to hit another and another because the momentum of your thoughts goes the opposite direction. It is very easy to keep feeling positive when positive things happen but it's also easy to think negatively when negative things are happening. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative.
The law of retraction, is an avalanche you get caught up in from negative events that all started from one little negative thought or event and before you know it more gets packed on and more and more until we find ourselves saying "Why is this happening to me?" Or  "I know it's not going to happen cause you know my luck!"

    We need to really pay attention to every word that comes out of our mouths, every thought that goes through our minds and every action we take. The universe sees and hears everything, and it will give you what you give it.

      Misery loves company and believe me it multiples and spreads like a bad disease. The law of attraction, in my life was always a test to see how much I had understood and retained from what was happening in my life. Life is a series of events leading and preparing for the next lesson like a necessary tool to have for the future. I am not the kind of person that just gets it, I have to learn things creatively and dramatically. I have to understand the mechanics of why I am learning something as I explore detail and feeling behind it. I am intimate and personal and I commit to that which I feel is committed to me. I need a sense of superiority, be ahead of the game as any little misfire and I am out.

     After my mother died, I felt like an orphan, I was once again without family at the age of 33.  I was broken hearted from Steven, and everything was surfacing however I kept going fueled by drugs. The negativity was slowly taking over because I was in my own world numbing reality and shutting myself away by myself; living in my own world in which I carried on for ten years. I went to work, still did my shows, made friends, but something happened to me when I got behind closed doors. I was referred to as a very private person and that I was. I didn't let many people into my home or personal life because if you made it that far you entered into my fantasy world. This was my home, where everything was just the way I wanted it and it was a place where you could be yourself, feel good and be whoever.
      I was on a road of self destruction and spending so much time alone, my thoughts and actions became very selfish. I would find myself telling lies to people about getting out or avoiding any social gatherings. My personality that was gifted to me to be used as my purpose was slowly retracting from the real me.
     I was excited, I had just finished work and come home as I was planning on doing the same thing I do every night, do drugs, put on makeup and prance around with all my stories and make believe. My anxiety to get home grew everyday and I craved to be inside of my home, I longed for my privacy, and I hungered for being in my element . I sat down in my chair to take my first hit and the door bell rang causing me to spill a whole gram of dope on the floor.
"Are you serious? Who the hell !?"
        I quietly walked up to the bay window that looked out over the front yard where I could see past all the trees to the front door.  There stood my dear friend Jill anxiously waiting to be let in. We do makeup together and tell each other everything. Surprisingly I hesitated.
"Why are you being like this?" I asked myself as I could hardly pick up my feet to walk to the front door. I was mad as hell that she showed up without calling. I just offended.
"Hey, I thought maybe you were in the shower, I was going to see if the back door was open if you didn't answer soon."  Jill said as she walked right in pushing me a bit into the door.
"Wait, my back door?"
"Yeah, the back door.."
"......is something wrong ?"
"Yes , there is this is my house, my time , maybe I was busy, maybe I just didn't want to see anyone. At least call before you come, shit! I don't feel like seeing anyone I don't feel good and no I don't have any drugs !"
     I couldn't believe what I just said as she walked out the door
"You know I don't know what's going on with you lately but obviously it must be very important. It is really sad how much I do for you you would think that a friend that was in the neighborhood could just drop by."
"Jill..."
"No no! , don't say anything else. Call me when you decide that I am a better friend then the dope you are overdoing."
        Jill turned around and walked off. What have I become ? This got me thinking and obsessing which led to more situations like this because I kept dwelling on it. I was dwelling on the problem and trying to make excuses for my drug use, blaming everyone else for it. I knew in the back of my mind what I needed to do but just like everything else, i pushed that way back to the end of the line.  I knew this was not me and the it seemed like everything I did to get back I dug myself deeper.  This cycle changed all elements in my life; the domino effect.
        Negativity won't just go away, it spreads. It started in my thoughts then came out in words, followed by actions which then led to consequences. Then when it's done with one aspect it will move to the next, socially, financially, professionally, personally, mentally. The further down the line the harder to reverse this retraction.