Behind My Eyes.

i don't miss you anymore.

i've gotten better at not missing you.

i've only thought about you when i'm reading through my writing.

you hardly cross my mind anymore.

i'm thankful for that.

i finally feel like i'll be okay,

i tried to fill the void without you for so long and i think it's starting to work.

i think the thing i've thought about for so long was how you reacted to it all.

you were always very nonchalant when it came to people leaving you,

whereas i've always just expected people to leave,

even if that doesn't stop the ache when they're gone.

it's odd to think about.

i'm glad that i don't miss you anymore but that doesn't mean that i'm glad you left.

nothing will ever hurt me as much as that.

i know that it's my fault you're gone,

i messed up one too many times and you couldn't handle that.

i know that i'm the one who cut the ties so you couldn't talk to me anymore but you ghosted me long before then,

and i know that it's not fair of me to talk about you leaving me if i'm the one who pulled the final plug but you were gone long before then.

it makes me feel like i shouldn't be able to miss you because of that.

maybe i shouldn't.

everyone thought i was being overdramatic when it ended.

nobody understood why i reacted how i did but that's because i always kept what we did a secret.

i didn't want to tarnish your image in the eyes of our friends.

but you can only listen to "calm down it's not that serious" before you snap.

our friends know the things that transpired between us and i thank the stars above that nobody brought it up to you.

i cherish every moment i have with you and every memory that is engraved into my head.

even if you weren't always good to me i think you did your best and at the end of the day,

that's all that matters to me.

i don't miss you anymore and i've never felt so weightless.