Behind My Eyes.

a ramble about writing.

nothing has ever been easy for me besides writing.

i remember in fourth grade we were given some assignment to write about what the holiday season was like at home or something along those lines.

i remember mine made me emotional because right around that time my mom went to jail and my dad was no longer alive and i had written about that because i was in fourth grade i didn't know that it was odd to talk about.

writing has been an outlet for me for as long as i can remember.

i used to make up songs about things too but i've grown out of that since.

poetry and rambles are more my style.

i used to use the back pages of my school notebooks to write poems in class and it used to piss my teachers off,

my sixth-grade year, i think one of my teachers told the councilors something because they used to call me into their office and have me talk about my feelings and things like that,

i only went a few times until i told my mom about that and then i never got called in again.

i kind of enjoyed it,

i didn't have any friends at that school.

it was on the other side of town from me and nobody talked to me because my things weren't as nice as theirs.

i spent most of my time with my head in a book or in the library.

the librarians and i, no matter what school i was at, were always my closest friends.

i've always loved libraries.

i've also always gotten along better with adults than people my age anyways.

i think that has to do with being raised by my grandparents.

although once i got to high school i never spent much time in the library,

i would just hang out in the photography classroom with the teacher.

she was so fun and i think she might have actually hated me,

i feel like i annoyed all of my teachers now that i think about it.

i think it's because i never did the work.

that was only because it was never a challenge for me, besides math, always hated it.

my brain works too fast for the work they gave us so i didn't bother since it was too easy.

i'd rather do something more challenging and end up not doing well than to waste my time on worksheets i don't need and ace them.

i used to love having writing prompts in english class because then i could really put my mind to work and create something brand new!

my favorite thing in the world is writing but i don't like being told what i have to write.

that's what made writing prompts the best, 

they merely suggest something and give you an example or they give you a starter and you can run off with it.

i used to fill up college-ruled notebooks with short stories and i think i went through at least three of them in the span of a month.

it was childish nonsense but it was all i had.

i'd spend hours upon hours writing and reading.

i get so sucked into a book that i'm basically in the movie.

my teachers used to hate when i read in class because i could never pull myself out from the book in time to get back with the lesson.

i never minded though, i'd much rather be whisked away to forks washington any day of the week.

i hope my poems and rambles draw you in.

i hope they make you feel the way they make me feel.

i hope things come easy to you.