Forgive and Forget Me (A Jeff the Killer Story)

Chapter Thirty Six~*

1- Jamie

Ever since I was a little girl, I always thought the color black make me look funny. It made my skin paler, gave my eyes a deeper blue and made my hair seem darker. I only ever wore black colored shirt or jackets occasionally for that exact reason. Today, completely cloaked in black, I feel like I’m looking into the face of a stranger. My short hair is brushed nicely back and the faint red color that used to always be present on the skin of my hands is gone.

I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to look at myself. Maybe if I could believe I were someone else, I could believe I wasn’t going to my mother’s funeral. There’s a dull ache in my chest, worn down by my constant grieving.

After the boys got to the house and found me with my mother’s body, they insisted on me staying in my old bedroom while they cleaned up the mess. I rejected that idea, stating that LJ had called the police and they were already on their way. The boys had looked nervously at each other but said they’d stay. It took a while for them to all get back to looking normal, but by the time the cops came, none of us looked like psycho murderers. Well, at least to them we did.

There’s a soft knock. I open my eyes, turning away from the mirror before I can see my face, and head out of my mother’s bedroom on the bottom floor. As I walk to the front door, it creaks open and I see Gold peek his head in. My throat closes at the sight of him.

“Is it time?”

His eyes darken and he looks down. “Yes.”

“What’s wrong?” I grab a small black sweater.

“Jeff isn’t coming.” I stop in my tracks and look at him. Gold looks up and his anguish is made clear. “I tried. We all did. He just refused to come.”

I look down, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes. The door creaks open more and Gold walks inside. He wraps me into a hug and I hug him back, desperately clinging to his dark shirt. We stand like that several seconds before there is another knock on the door. He pulls away and I wipe off the few tears that escaped and look to Masky, who doesn’t have a mask on.

“Sorry, but we have to go.” He looks from Gold to my crying face. “I’ll kick Jeff’s ass when we get back to the mansion.”

I nod weakly and we leave the house. LJ stands by the car and inside I can see EJ. Nervously, I brush my hair behind an ear. I’ve never seen so many of the other CP’s out in public like this. The charms Slender gave them should work and conceal their identity but I still worry. After all, we’re a bunch of psycho murderers going to a funeral.

Gold follows behind me to the car, his hand pressed gently against my back. EJ whispers something to Masky that the others are already at the church but there were some problems and a few of the others are going to have to wait outside until it’s time to go to the cemetery. Masky opens his mouth, probably to make a joke, but he looks at me and closes it.

For the past few days, it feels as if they’re all playing a game of Minefield and I’m the mine they’re trying to avoid set off. I’m getting tired of the whispers and the holding back and the side looks. None of them could ever even begin to understand what I’m going through because none of them know how to feel things, much less compassion and mercy for those they have killed. None of them know what it’s like to lose someone they love because they have never loved someone.

I sit in the car between Gold and Masky. If Jeff were here, he’d be furious, saying he doesn’t want me anywhere near Masky. I almost consider asking Gold to switch places with me but decide not to. Who cares what Jeff would like. It’s not like he’s here.

When everyone is settled, LJ starts the car and pulls out of the driveway. The boys make small talk to whole ride but I tune them all out. Occasionally, Gold nudges me to join in and Masky will look at me to say something. Every time, the others go quiet and look at me. After the third time, I start crying for no reason and look down, taking in deep breaths and trying to calm myself down.