I don't have a time machine
Nor to I have anything to dream for
In the future
Oh the future
While the past gnaws at my feet it
Sucks my blood it
Won't let me breathe
I'm so sorry
For all of these things I have done
For the bullets that weren't even
Shot from my gun
I was happy
Happy to sit and play nice
Happy being made of sugar and spice
So happy just to act like I was gonna become somebodies wife
But things have changed now
And I can't see them ever returning
And now I'm in a dream state
A situation where the biggest mistake
Was losing you
Over my inability
Our inability
To speak
To speak our minds
To
Remind eachother that it'll all be fine
That no matter what, we would heal with time
But I'm not fine
I'm hurting
And my hurt that lingers feels like
Knives under the nails of my fingers
Because I fucked everything up
For the two of us stuck in a rut
All because we didn't talk very much
Anymore
And I don't know if I can turn it to how it was
Before
So as I watch you leave that door and
My organs tumble to the concrete floor I'll
Try so hard to keep a composure
As your final footstep leaves me alone like before
And I swore
That I would be strong
But I can't keep this up for this long
Eventually without you I'm bound to be gone
Oh so gone.
YOU ARE READING
phosphenes
PoetryA collection of poems about mental health, identity and love. TW AND CW FOR POSSIBLY TRIGGERING TOPICS.
