Rebel Lawley // Kian Lawley's Sister

34

"Am I dead?" I asked as I opened my eyes. The room around me was extremely bright.

"Not yet," A voice said. Upon adjusting to the lights I noticed it was Maxine.

"What the hell is happening?" I asked surprisingly calm. Maxine is dead. And I'm not?

"You're in the in-between," She replied.

"What the hell is that?" I questioned once again.

"You're not dead, you're not alive. You're in between. Usually, you would be here in comas too. You weren't for some reason," She said.

I went up and hugged her. I can't believe I get to see her again.

"Wait," I said, "How did you know I was in a coma?" 

"I've been with you ever since I died. I'm here right now to make sure you don't try to die," She laughed.

"Now what makes you think I would do that?" I said sarcastically.

She smiled.

"So how long do we have?" I asked.

"Probably like ten hours, but that can take forever in here,"

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"Anything. We can do anything, go anywhere. Just pick a place," She said.

This is crazy. I can be anywhere? 

"What about London?" I suggested. 

With no more than a blink, we were on the London Eye.

"Holy shit, you can see all of London from up here," I said as we went around the Ferris Wheel.

The view was breathtaking. I could see Big Ben and the London Bridge. 

"I know," Max laughed.

"Is this what heaven is like?" I asked her as we sat looking at the city. It was much cooler than boring old California.

"Sort of," She replied, "It's hard to explain."

We sat in silence as the Ferris Wheel went down.

"So what next?" I asked.

"It's up to you," She replied.

"How about Italy?" I said.

Like magic, we were in Italy. To the expected cliche we were sitting on the grass before the colosseum. We sat on a blanket with a picnic basket in front of us.

"Perfect," I said, "I'm starving,"

I opened the basket to see the exact food I was craving; pizza.

We both grabbed a slice and clinked them together in cheers before scarfing them down. That used to be Max and I's favorite thing. On Friday nights, we would skip the big parties and sit at home watching our favorite movies as we ate the biggest cheese pizza we could find.

"Why did you do it?" I asked her.

"Do what?" She replied as if she didn't know what I was talking about.

"You know what I mean," I said, "Why did you kill yourself. Obviously, you know I almost killed myself and I don't know if you can read my mind with your weird 'ghostness' but it wasn't the first time I thought about it,"

"Ray, you know you meant everything to me but I needed more than one friend to keep me going. You remember the things people would say. You knew how my parents were. I'm not just some attention whore. I tried for so long to keep going. Not only for me but for you," She said.

"I get it. People suck sometimes. I just miss you so fucking much," I whimpered. She was all I had in my worst time and I wasn't enough for her in her worst time. I'm so worthless my best friend killed herself. 

She embraced me in a hug. I knew she was hugging me but I couldn't feel her touch me. Was I just dreaming?

"Just because I did it doesn't mean you're allowed to. You know how Kian was. If you pull that shit he'll kill himself too and that's 3 people who didn't need to die," She joked.

I couldn't help but laugh as the tears streamed down my face. 

"Now, when you wake up, and you better, you'll leave the in-between and return to life. I want you to remember this forever and know that it wasn't your fault," She said.

"I love you," I cry-laughed.

"I love you too Ray," She said and started to fade. Like this was all a dream.

As she disappeared so did Italy. Everything slowly turned white. Was I in heaven? I always though I was going to go to hell.

"Ray," I heard a voice. I think it was the gay nurse (Not that there's anything wrong with that. I actually have 3 awesome gay uncles).

She wasd right. I did wake up and 'return to life'.

I was in a special room, different to the hospital room I was in before the surgery. 

I could see Kian and Jc sitting outside the room. Jc ahd changed back into his normal clothes. I'm guessing he let the nurse down easy.

"Can they come in?" I asked the nurse.

"In a little bit. Once your vitals stabilize. They will need to scrub up so you won't be exposed to any new germs," He said.

"Thank you," I replied as he left.

I went to reach for my phone before noticing I didn't have it.

I'm guessing Kian does.

I decided to flip on the tv searching for something good to watch. I landed upon some episode of Bones I'm guessing I've already watched a billion times.

What felt like years later, a different nurse came back with some food to eat and told the guys they could come in.

"So how long am I going to be in here?" I asked Kian as I shoveled down some pudding.

"As long as it takes," He replied, "They need to make sure your body doesn't reject the lungs or something,"

Great. I'm going to be killed by time. All of this waiting around for things to happen sucks.

We sat and played Go Fish until the guys decided it was late and they needed to go back home.

I decided I'd be best to get some sleep.