The Spy

2.4

Dear Sooman sajangnim,

Annyeong haseyo Sooman sajangnim. Have you been well? I just did my first mission to become blackpink's last member. Lea got eliminated. Right now, Hyunsuk sajang is giving us a couple days to rest before starting our next mission. Sajangnim.. you haven't reply to any of my letters yet. Are you too busy to check on me?

This will be the last letter that you receive from me. I'm going to stop being your spy and focus on debuting with Blackpink instead. Thank you for giving me the chance to transfer to YG entertainment. I hope we can meet again in a better condition.

Kim Jennie

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I sigh as I finish writing the letter. 'It's okay Jennie.. It's your last letter. You are done. You are finally done with SM. You are with YG now.' I try to calm my odd beating heart and take a shaky breath. I just did a big move. Cutting my ties with SM. I don't even know what will happen after I did it, but well I did it. The fear and guilt of people knowing  me as a SM spy has been eating me alive.

This last few days have been hard for both me and Haemi. Blackpink's debut is starting to feel realer and realer after Lea got eliminated. That night, all of us cried a river. We're not exactly besties because we have just met, but when you practice dance or sing with another person frequently, you'll feel more and more emotionally connected with them.

Lea kept on saying that she's fine, that she will be okay, and that she doesn't expect much but she deserves everything. I mean, look at her! A new trainee, has a nice swag,can rap skillfully,and even got noticed by Jiyong sunbaenim. She's a full package. The thought of me taking her chance to debut even though I'm a SM spy haunts me like how my last nightmare of Jina still haunts me. Her anger, her sadness and her disappointment. It's one of the reason why I decided to cut ties with SM.

Sighing, I take an envelope and put the letter inside. I don't even know when and how to send this letter. I've been staying in the dorm for like 2 days. Nowadays, YG entertainment is  very alarmed with the one who goes in  out. They don't need more rumor spreading. "Jennie-yaa. Are you awake?" Jisoo unnie knocks the door. Another thing that happen after the first mission is, Jisoo unnie decides to sleep with Lisa and Chaeyoung. She said that it's better for me to have the room alone so I can have more privacy and I can focus more on my next mission. That's ridiculous because Jisoo unnie never bother me and I have nothing to hide. Well, almost nothing to hide but you know what I mean.

"Unnie. It's really alright. Me, Chaeyoung, and Jisoo unnie also need to bond more. While you, you need to focus more on the mission so we can debut together! We need to debut together unnie. I can't imagine anybody other than you. Jennie unnie, you can do it! Hwaiting!" Lisa ended my train of complains that night. The other nodded and smiled at Lisa's statement. My eyes got teary. I really don't deserve them. They believe in me and they want me to be a part of them. I really don't deserve any of this should I run away , go back to New Zealand , and hide so nobody can find me? Random thoughts start to fill my head again. Oh my god till when will I keep on pretending? But it's okay.. I already cut my ties and--

"Jennie ya?" Jisoo unnie knocks again. I snap out of my thoughts. "Ah.. ne unnie. I'm awake." She quietly opens door and her head pops in. "Go get dressed. Haemi is here." She sends me a wide smile. "Haemi?" My eyebrow knits in confusion. "Yes.. it's Haemi. Ppalii.." "Ne.." I swing my legs off my bed. I no longer use the gips or crutches by the way. Thankfully, my ankle heals fast. Taking my phone from the bedside table, I frown when I see no message notifications. Haemi can at least told me when she wants to hangout. She doesn't tell me anything about today's hangout. I dress comfortably, not really caring how I look and take my sling bag with me. 

I scan my room once more to see if there's anything suspicious enough. I know I have cut ties with SM but I'm still very much aware that things can go wrong super quickly if I'm not careful. My eyes stop at the last letter that I wrote earlier this morning. I don't know if I can send it today but I decide to take with me. It will be safer and who knows I can send it today? I quickly put in my sling bag and exit my room.

"Haemi-yaa.." I call as I jog toward the living room. "Eo? Where is Haemi?" I ask when I only find Chaeyoung and Lisa chilling in the sofa. The both of them stare at each other for a while before answering. "She is outside." I look at them weirdly. Something is off. "Emm.. okay.. I'll get going. Have a good day guys.." Why would Haemi wait for me outside? It's quite chilly in the morning. Why don't they invite Haemi in?

After putting a snapback to hide my morning swollen face, I open the door. I don't see Haemi anywhere though. I grumble as I close the door. "Mwoyaa.. Is she playing with me?" I start to take out my phone, ready to dial Haemi's number. 

"My snapback looks good on you." I quickly look to my right and see someone leaning against the wall. 

My eyes widened. "Mino oppa...."

"Hi Jennie.. How have you been?"