The Spy

2.8

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06: 30 am

I sigh as I tiredly turn off my alarm. I take a deep breath. It's already morning and it's a new day. It's also my first day, finally accepting the fact that I'm an SM spy. 

No more pretending. 

No more lies. 

I'll need to meet Papa YG today.

Yesterday, Jisoo, Chaeyoung, and Lisa stayed up to brief me on several things like how should I tell Papa YG, what to say, what not to say, etc. We also imagined some possible scenarios on how Papa YG probably would react, what will happened next, and a list of other overthinking scenarios.

We were stressing about it till dawn but then we realized that it's unnecessary and we try to think positive instead. "Jennie unnie needs rest." That's what Lisa said.  

Remembering it, I feel all warm inside. I really appreciate it even though I couldn't fall asleep anyway.

They are all so nice to me. It feels like we've known each other for years but we've actually only known each other for 3-4 months. They already feel like my real sisters. I can't imagine training in YG without them.

I've been lying to them all this time and I still can't believe that they forgive me that easily.

"Jennie?" A voice break my train of thoughts. "Ne unnie?" I answer, recognizing Jisoo's deep voice. "Come have breakfast with us. Chaeyoung cooked some pancakes." I take another deep breath. Right. I need to start my day. The sooner I start, the sooner I can face Papa YG and confess everything. 

But I'm afraid. 

What if I get kick out? 

What if I'm not allowed to meet the blackpink members again?

I know I deserve it but thinking about it still scares me a lot.

What will I do next?

Where will I go?

"Unnie! Ppali! Or I'll eat all of the pancakes!" Lisa calls me. "Ye-yes! Leave me some!" I decided to grab my phone and leave my room.

"Good morning, unnie!" Lisa smiles warmly to me as I join her at the kitchen's island. "Good morning, Lis." I try to smile through my worries.

Chaeyoung's pancakes are indeed delicious. It's still warm and it's fluffy. It melts in my mouth.  "Hmmm it's so good Chaeyoung-a. I didn't know you can cook." I compliment her and start savouring more pancakes. Chaeyoung laughs as she puts another pancake in a plate.

"Her waffles are also good! You should try it later, Jennie." Jisoo compliments her. Chaeyoung blushes. "Ah.. you like it? I'll cook waffles for breakfast tomorrow then." "Really? Yeayyy make two for me unnie!" Lisa cheers.

I smile at their interaction. 

Will there be tomorrow for me? 

Will I get to enjoy Chaeyoung's waffles? 

What will happen when I left? 

I look down at my half eaten pancake, slowly losing my appetite. Kim Jennie. Seriously? How can you enjoy a delicious breakfast when you just caused a major rumor last night?

"Everything it's going to be fine, Jen." Chaeyoung gives me a gentle smile. Jisoo holds my left hand and Lisa holds my right. "We'll be here for you. No matter what." My eyes start to get teary.