𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡.

𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 | 𝐞 & 𝐫

R

    "Richie, I want to be with you."

    Richie's ears were flooded with the words that poured through them like they were music. He was caught off guard at first, unsure if he was imagining things. He pinched himself, his arm under the blanket so that Eddie couldn't see. He felt the pinch with a sharp sting, insinuating that it was real. All of it was real. Things had never felt so real... yet so incredibly fake at the same time. Richie looked at Eddie, who still was faced the other way. He recounted everything he knew about Eddie and the perfection of the boy - his luscious curly hickory hair, with curls resembling coils of drizzled syrup on golden waffles. The way he spoke with such poise and elegance, seldom slipping up on his words. The way he could speak with sharp precision and words like knives set aflame, cutting through any bold, faux front that Richie could put up in front of him. How he could tell that the boy thought so little of himself, but never let anyone see that side of him except for Richie. His ethereal presence and how he could so perfectly change a room's mood without even speaking. His candlelit words, and the way that even after they were blown out, a wraith of smoke was still left in their tracks.

    This was all he wanted. This was all Richie ever wanted, and he knew that and held that belief with such conviction ever since he first set his eyes on the boy way back in kindergarten and he first walked up to him in the heat of the late summer. He didn't know just how intense his feelings were for Eddie back in kindergarten though, no. All he saw was a short, hypochondriac of a kid with a short temper and a kind smile. A smile with pearly white teeth and a radiant glow that Eddie used to always don like beaming sun in midsummer, but now Richie barely got to catch a glimpse of it. It was hidden from him by sauntering clouds, which were really just shielding Richie from the painful memories like sunburns he knew he'd get when he saw it in its glory. Now, all Richie got at best were zesty half smiles, another bitter reminder of how Richie's faults had taken some of the sweetness out of Eddie, left with the sour aftermath of his mistakes.

    All of these thoughts rushed through Richie's head at once, persisting even after he spoke. "Do you?" He asked, wanting to make sure that the moment was real, as if the pinch wasn't enough convincing for him.

E

    Eddie couldn't bring himself to face Richie - he thought his heart would burst at the seams if he even thought about seeing Richie's expression, which he knew was in a mix of disbelief and joy and would later turn into a complacent countenance a few seconds later to shield his vulnerability.

    Eddie spoke the words without thinking, realising almost instantly how much it would have to mean. It meant that he'd have to put up with Richie's paranoid and exuberant tangents. He'd have to put up with his intense and overwhelming moods, and his bouts of raging sadness and guilt that sometimes seemed like they'd never go away, which was torment for the two of them. And his 'bad habits', like his co-dependency for substances and his intense yearning for affection and approval from Eddie.  His scrawny, pale arms that didn't look strong physically, but made Eddie feel like nothing could hurt him when he was wrapped in them. His enchanting smile that caused Eddie's cheeks to flush into a hue of scarlet, and his charming goddamn laugh like no other. Also, he'd have to deal with seeing his poignant dark eyes that made Eddie's stomach get golden-winged butterflies, and seeing them tear up which made the shimmering, glossy wings on the butterflies corrode and made his soul wrench. Eyes that pulled him in deeper. Eyes that could be the end of him. Eyes to be taken with caution at first, but they could fill even those without imagination with child-like wonder just from marvelling at them. Eyes Eddie might grow to trust. Could he?

    "Yes." Eddie replied, answering both Richie's question and his own. "Yes." He said again, in a less calculated tone, feeling tension alleviate from his shoulders. He turned to face Richie, who was already facing the boy. Eddie stared into the eyes, anxious about what they could reveal next. Now, they were staring back at Eddie's, not seeming to even be in thought. Just staring intently.

"Can I kiss you?" Richie said to him, sounding hesitant, almost like he was more embarrassed to ask than to just do the action like before. Eddie looked at Richie's lips, how they didn't look so prepared to say something as they usually were. They were just at a resting point, which was relieving to Eddie. It gave him time to think. "We didn't fight this time, so I don't know." Eddie jokingly said, with a hint of truth in it. He heard Richie laugh a gentle laugh. Eddie's eyes directed back up to Richie's with a half-smile. Except this time, it felt like more than half. 'Almost there. He has to earn it the rest.'

Without answering, Richie leaned forward, kissing Eddie. It was soft, but Eddie was too enraptured in the moment to notice anything other than the fact that they were there. Alone, in the cabin. In the bed. It would never be anything else. It would never be anyone else.

It was always just them. It always would be.