Restart | Levi x Reader

7. Just Like Me

The 57th expedition in a month came abruptly just like the battle at Trost district.

-

It was night and people are miserable. But I would be, too, if I were going on a suicide mission. Especially amateurs like us. This goes beyond getting our feet wet, we're going full dive.

Lily held my hand like always.

The next day was better, but for some reason, I've been feeling kind of down. I walked with Mikasa and the others towards the horse stalls. I stopped and pet one of them. It's nose nuzzled against my hand. Eren then appears and hugs the group.

"Hey, where's mine?" I crossed my arms.

"(Y/n)!" Eren turned to me with a huge smile and engulfed me in his arms.

I laughed and then stopped when I saw Levi behind him. Mikasa was about to storm at him just like at the court but Armin stopped her again.

"Stop it, Mikasa." Armin said.

"That shorty didn't do anything to you, did he?" Mikasa asked.

"I'm fine." Eren said.

The group started to walk away with Eren. I was about to follow before Levi grabs me by the wrist again. I stopped and then slowly turned to him.

"We need to talk." He said.

I glanced at Mikasa and the others. They were so caught up with Eren that they didn't even notice that I was gone. I sighed and followed.

He took me behind the horse stalls.

He had his arms crossed and leaned against the stall. I stood to the side with a hand on my elbow.

"Why're you here?" He finally spoke.

"I'm in the Survey Corps, sir." I said.

"Why're you speaking like that?"

"What do you mean, sir?"

"Cut the crap, (y/n)." He said. "Look at me."

The sun shifted behind the clouds and a shadow casted over us. I moved from the side and looked at him.

"I should be asking you the questions." I said under my breath. "Do you even know what I've went through the last few years?"

"What does that have to do with me?" He said.

"Oh..." I controlled my voice. "I guess it doesn't have anything to do with you now, huh?" I turned on my heels with my back to him. "I'm going back. Goodbye, Captain."

He stopped me by the shoulder and turned me to him. Seeing him just pains me. He is no longer the Levi from back then.

"You've changed." I said.

"I haven't changed." He says.

"Hilarious."

"What's your problem?"

"You."

Before he could say anything else, I ran. I didn't want to hear another word of his. I didn't want to hear his voice. I didn't want to see his face. I was done with him and the past. I was going to restart everything with new people and new memories and a new me. So why did he have to come back? All the ugly feelings just keeps rising up and fix itself in the back of my throat. And I couldn't talk because I didn't like the way I would sound.

Couple minutes later~

"Oh, (y/n)-woah?!" Armin looked at me. "What happened? You look like a ghost!"

"Oh, do I?" I touched my face. "I don't have a mirror."

I sat down between Armin and Lily.

"Wait!" I grabbed Armin's collar. "You guys left me behind!"

"C-Calm down!" Armin said.

"Well, whatever." I let him go.

I felt mentally and physically exhausted and I went to bed earlier than usual. As the day darkens, I opened my eyes to see that it was the middle of the night.

Damn, I've been laying awake in bed for that long?

I stretched myself and walked around the HQ. The moon is beautiful tonight. Walking past a door, I heard some noises inside. It sounded like the person was struggling and I entered. It was an office and right ahead sat Levi with his arms crossed and his head tilted.

I walked up to him.

"Hmph."

I hate to admit it, but looking at him up close, he really is handsome. And the undercut really unnecessarily suits him.

He squirmed as his brow furrowed.

Heh, nightmares again? Well, just this once I suppose.

I reached my one hand and stroked his hair. My face was stoic as my mind felt empty and full with thoughts at the same time. How is that even possible?

Finally, he stopped squirming as I heard soft snores from him. Looking at the moon, I felt a tinge of sadness inside me.

Yeah, the moon really is beautiful tonight.

-

"Morning..." I was still exhausted.

"Are you okay?" Armin said. "You look horrible."

"Thanks. Anyway, let's go eat."

We arrived at the mess hall. I walked in just as Levi and his squad did. I had already familiarized with his squad members a bit that I at least remember their names. I see Oluo talking in his weird language as usual today. As I walked, I accidentally bumped shoulders with Petra and knocked her backwards onto Levi.

"Ah!" She yelped a little.

"...." I stood staring. "Oh...um, my bad."

"S-Sorry, Captain!" She said, flustered.

I was completely ignored and decided to continue walking as I felt a bit weird and awkward standing there. I felt his eyes staring at my back as I walked.

After breakfast, we were out and about, getting ready for the expedition tomorrow. I was readying the bags with those flare guns. There was then a knock on the door and Petra walked in with her cute smile.

"I'm sorry about this morning." She said.

"It looked like you enjoyed it." I teased.

"Oh gosh!" She blushed. "Was it that obvious?"

"Not really." I said. "But I could tell."

She walked beside me. "Don't tell anyone."

"I won't." I promised. "But...what's so good about him?"

She leaned against the table with an embarrassed smile. "Well, where do I start? Oh boy, there's a lot." She giggled.

Whatever it is, I'm sure that I know him more than you. But...that look on your face sure brings me back.

I smiled softly.

"Go on." I said sheepishly with my head resting on my hand.