Save Me

2

It was just before midday when I woke, my body sore and aching. I stretched and pulled the duvet up to my chin covering up, I was freezing. I lay there starring at the ceiling as the events of yesterday flashed through my head over and over again until it sunk in, realising what had happened was true, I shot up and out of bed.

It can't be, no, no it's not true honestly how could it be? I was calm and collective and understanding. How's that possible? I would've created a storm being dumped three days before he got married. Three days! What the hell! And there's me taking it like a 'cool story bro' honestly some things wrong with me! But now that it's over I can move on we both can. Right? I'm going to be just fine right? Of course I am. I am going to be perfectly fine, absolutely okay. It will turn out okay for the best he'll be with his mate and I-I'll be just okay.

My body was on autopilot mode as I went through my daily morning routine and spoke to myself about my current breakup. Dressed and ready I found myself down stairs when I was pulled away from my thoughts by Zak.

"Yo!" Zak stood in front of me waving his arms around. "You listening or what?"

"Of course I am," I lied I had no idea what he had just said.

"As I was saying I made breakfast." He smiled sympathetically stepping away to reveal the food. He had cooked my go to comfort food, Belgium waffles.

"Thanks," I beamed at him going for the very well presented plate. I was craving something sweet. Taking my seat at the dining table I dug in biting first into the fresh chocolate smothered strawberry. "These taste wonderful," I told him over a mouth full of waffle and strawberry.

He didn't show it but he was suspicious, I caught him a few times staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking. Since I stepped down he had his eye on me watching me like a hawk especially after the unexpected reaction to my usual go to comfort food.

The day went on like this with Zak keeping a close eye on me watching my 'odd' behaviour at all times. It was well into the evening when we had visitors it was none other than Finn. He entered through the backdoor into the kitchen where I was dipping all sorts of edibles in chocolate; strawberry, biscuits, marshmallows, banana, crisp, tortilla chips you name it I was dipping it in chocolate and eating it. Zak came into the kitchen as Finn came in, he stood at the threshold of the kitchen and passageway.

"Hey Finn," I greeted him as he walked by.

He froze in his spot, Zak's eyes almost bugged out of his eyes as I greeted him ever so casually that it was as if nothing at all had happened. "Hi Cara," he greeted turning to face me.

"What you guys up to?" I asked, I hadn't expected to see him here so soon but what could I do? My brother here was his best friend obviously he was bound to come over.

"We're discussing some stuff," he said being vague.

"Oh, like what?" My curiosity got the better of me.

"Ceremonial stuff."

My smile if possible went from fifty watt to hundred watt, the complete opposite of what I was feeling. Instead of faltering it beamed. "Have fun," I told them. "Can't wait to meet her." I continued licking melted chocolate off my fingers.

I lay in bed later that night when it came, and I can assure you it came with full force knocking the breath out of me. The thought of Finn married brought a smile to my lips but the thought of him being married to someone else took that away, took everything away, it left me breathless with what felt like literal heartbreak, it felt as if my heart was about to exploded, it felt as if it scrunched up in a tight ball refusing to unclench letting oxygen in. It felt as if my airway had been blocked and no matter how hard I tried so hard to breathe and get oxygen to my deprived body I couldn't. I couldn't slow my breathing, I couldn't calm it or tame it I couldn't do nothing. Everything was out of control.

After what felt like forever it unclenched letting oxygen in. Even though it was seconds it felt much longer, to say it was minutes long would be too short to say it felt like hours it was too long. Each breath I took felt like icy pricks inside my chest and there was no way I could get rid of them, none. The pain increased as the tears flowed my body shifted into a ball form curling up on itself as it hit me not had I just been dumped by my boyfriend but I had just lost my best friend too and the pain increased tenfold. As the tears poured down wetting my pillow case soaking through into my pillow it was the first time I wanted the comfort of my mother in many years, it was the first time I didn't want anyone else but her to tell me that everything was going to be okay but she wasn't here and I don't know how I was going to get that reassurance.

Morning came around eventually it was a blessing and a curse. Blessing that I made it through the night but a curse that I was going to have to go through it all over again tonight.

The break up had finally settled and wasn't doing any justice to my emotions, my heartache over ruled my brain, any thoughts, suggestions ignored. I didn't do much, in fact I did nothing other than self wallow and threw myself a pity party, I wasn't hungry, I didn't go down to eat I felt nothing but the hurt and after a while it over took all emotions numbing me.

I woke up and the first thought to cross my mind was him. He was about be married and mated in a matter of hours. My brother was to be the best man along with the packs beta. The very thought tore me apart from the inside out, it was so strong that it could've been mistaken for physical pain. If only it was it would've been much simpler and far more tolerable. But it wasn't, it was emotional pain and there was no cure for that.

At this moment I could've done with my mum being around either one, my human mother or my werewolf mum, not for the comfort or the talk just for someone to rely on someone to lean back on. My best friend's both werewolves, one dumped my ass and the other is busy most likely helping out with the preparations for the big wedding of the alpha seeing as everyone comes together for the big celebratory occasions and if this wasn't one I didn't know what was.

Just some sort of family, a sister perhaps. My brother's no help seeing as he's useless with these kind of situations and my dad's the one who passed on the gene of being helpless in these situations to my brother.

There was a small knock on my bedroom door and Zak entered. "Hey, you're up." He said surprised. "I just came up to check on you, well I'm going to the pack house, pack meeting you see."

Right, I nodded my head.

"You want to come?" He offered, he wasn't being heartless just considerate.

"Na, I don't feel too up for it," I told him shaking my head. "Just probably a boring pack meeting, you can fill me in on it." It wasn't going to be some boring pack meeting it was the wedding of the century in the wolf community as two packs were about to just join forces.

"If you want I can stay back." He told me.

I looked at him the sincerity clear in his eyes, it was a genuine offer. "No," I forced a smile out. "You go, I'm just going to chill at home and watch movies." I encouraged him to go.

"See you later." He said sounding unsure with a final concerning look my way he left closing the door behind him.

I sunk further into my mattress pulling the duvet over my head. I don't know how long I stayed like this but eventually I threw the duvet off and went for a shower. I was not going to lay up in my bed curled up into a ball moping and thinking about wanting and wishing and what if-ing my night away while my ex is going to having the time of his life marrying the women of his life for who he gave up everything for who he will be celebrating, drinking partying and going on to have the night of his life with.

I was not going to be miserable. Not while he was having a blast partying it up. I too was going to party it up. I got out the shower and went straight to my wardrobe opening the side with all my evening and party wear hung. I picked out a classic, you could never go wrong with: a little black lace dress. Emphasis on little, I don't care how I looked or who's eye I caught. I was out for a distraction the bigger the better.

Dressed and ready I headed out to the door and into the cab that was waiting outside. He took me to the talk about night club in town one where the rich went to party. If I was lucky I'd pick up a millionaire and he'd have the night of his life curtsey of moi.

It wasn't a long wait to get in, my choice of clothing helped. Inside I went straight to the bar and ordered up my drinks.

One cocktail, Two beer's, two martini's and three shots later I was completely gone. My alcohol tolerance was absolutely shit, even for a human it sucked.