Red

29

TRIS'S POV

I close my eyes and bring my head to Van's chest. In this moment, I felt safe. I felt like Van could protect me from anything right now. Mike, Mike's friends, Annabelle, even being stranded on an island, didn't seem to bother me with Van here with me.

I can't even remember the last time I had had a hug, it's been so long. It must have been at least a few weeks ago, and probably from Annabelle. I missed the contact with someone else, the simple intimacy of a hug.

Van rests his chin on the top of my head and traces circles on my back with his fingers. I grab the hem of his shirt and hold it tightly in my hand, as if I let go he would get up and leave me. He wouldn't do that, of course, but held on anyway.

I hear Van's soft hums of an unknown tune as we sit there. His chest vibrates underneath my head, only making me relax into him more.

"What song is that?" I ask him, not bothering to move my head from my comfortable position and look up at him.

"Hmm," Van stops humming as he thinks to himself. "I'm not sure yet. Doesn't have a name yet."

"You wrote it?" I ask. "I liked it."

Van chuckles. "You seem surprised," he says. I don't need to see him to know he has a faint smile on his face, his perfectly imperfect teeth barely showing. "Don't think I can write a good song, do ya?"

I sit up in his lap, and look him in the eyes, my own eyes probably welling up with tears. "That's not what I meant," I say, worried I upset him. "I...I just wanted..." I stop speaking, Van's smirk confusing me.

"Relax, doll," he says, slightly shaking his head. "I was only playin. I know that's not what you meant."

"Oh," I frown, my cheeks probably bright red by now. I should have known he was kidding. I just made a complete fool of myself, overreacting like that.

Van's smile returns. He probably found me pathetic. I should know how to take a joke by now, I'm already seventeen. "You're blushin, love," his smile turns back into a smirk.

"No I'm not," I say quietly, there was no confidence in my voice. I know I just looked silly, denying that my cheeks have flushed rosy red as Van somehow always managed to make me do.

"No?" Van questions humorously. He kisses my forehead. A kiss that would only make me redder, but Van thankfully couldn't tell since he pulled me back into a hug right after. Maybe he felt bad for me and that's why he kissed me. Or maybe he was just so tired he wasn't fully comprehending that he was kissing my forehead. Because why would he have any reason to kiss me?

"Can I hear the song?" I ask, the hesitance clear in my voice. I hope I wasn't asking for too much. I make fists with my hands, part of me regretting asking him. But I had to ask. I wanted to hear him sing again. There was something about his voice that made me feel peaceful. I still remember how calm I felt when he sang for me and Bondy a couple nights ago.

"Only if you stop digging your nails into your palms," he says, grabbing my hands and moving my fingers away from my palms while not breaking eye contact with me. I wasn't even sure how he knew I was doing it again.

"Sorry," I whisper. The prediction that my cheeks were red again was confirmed by Van's sky smirk.

"It's okay, love," he reassures me. "You know, I hate that you're so shy around me. You don't have to feel nervous or hide from me." He plays with my fingers as we speak.