Red

36

VAN'S POV

I get down on my knees next to Tris. She was laying on her side in the dirt, her shirt and sweatpants tossed to her side. She was still wearing her underwear and bra. Her head was turned away from me. "Van?" She asks me, her voice shaky and uncertain since she could only hear me. If she had spoken any softer, I wouldn't have been able to hear her.

"Hey, Tris. It's just me, Van," I whisper. She must feel so fragile right now. I had to be extra careful with her.

I softly place my hand on her shoulder, doing my best not to startle her. She flinches a little at my touch anyway, but it was expected. "Can you try sitting up for me, love?" I ask her. I had to make sure she was okay.

She shakes her head, still hiding away from me. I hear her sniffle.

I nod my head and sit down next to her while leaning back on a rock. "I'm going to lift you up and bring you to my lap, okay? Will that work?" I suggest.

She hesitates. I was about to ask again, but then I see her nod her head. So I lift her up from the dirt and move her to my lap, making her face me with one leg on either side of me. Her hair looked tangled and messy and dirt covered one side of her face. I brush some one it off with my fingers.

"Darlin," I sigh, looking into her teary eyes. I can't imagine what she has just been through, how terrified she must have felt. I wrap my arms around her, bringing her as close to me as I could.

Her breaths are rigid and I could tell she was still shaken up from the experience. She rests her head on my shoulder and wraps her arm around me. Her hands tightly grip the back of my shirt. "Shh, it's okay," I coo. "I've got you. I'm not letting you go. I'm not going to let you go," I tell her, speaking softly into her ear. I tell her to reassure her, but I was also speaking to myself, making a promise. This time I won't let her go. I'll be more careful. I should have known better than to leave her with Larry. It wasn't Larry's fault, I really should have told Larry to keep a very close eye on her. I can't believe I was that stupid.

I rub her back in circles, brushing off some of the dirt that was on her body. "Van?" She asks me timidly, her voice tickling the side of my neck. Her breaths were slowly getting a little more steady.

"Hmm?" I hum. It came as a shock. I hadn't expected her to say something unless I asked her something. I was glad she did speak up, though.

"I... did you...find Sam?" She asks. She seemed nervous to ask her question.

A small smile forms on my face, knowing how caring Tris really was. Only she could be so concerned about another person, even if she was going through so much herself already. "We did. He's back at the plane," I tell her. She doesn't say anything in response, just nods her head and continues to rest on me.

Bondy walks over and looks at me. He points toward the direction of the plane and raises his eyebrows, wanting to know if he should go back. I look over at Mike. He was still laying on the ground, not dead, but definitely out of sorts. He was probably unconscious. I nod my head and make a mental note to thank him later for helping me all day.

"Van?" Tris says my name again, about to say something else. Her voice was quiet, just like before. Maybe even quieter, more vulnerable.

"What is it, sweetie?" I ask, brushing through her hair with my fingers.

"I..." she stops and gulps, her breaths becoming shaky again.

"Relax, Tris. Take some deep breaths for me," I say calmly, kissing the top of her head. "Take your time." I hate how she got so worked up when she speaks to me. I want her to feel nothing but comfortable talking to me. I should be someone she can turn to, an easy person to vent to, but I don't know if Tris fully knows that I'm on her side yet.

We wait for a few minutes until she calms down again. "I...I didn't know... t-that this would happen," she says. "I'm s-sorry, Van," her voice cracks when she says my name.

I shake my head and wrap my arms around her even tighter. "Baby, none of this was your fault. You don't need to apologize," I tell her. "Your safe now, aren't you? That's all I care about."

"But you told me n-not to go looking for Sam a-and I did anyway," she says. I felt a tear fall on my neck.

"Tris," I say her name, my voice sounding serious but I try to keep some sort of warmth in my voice. I grab underneath her arms and adjust her on my lap so she was looking at me and no longer resting on my shoulder.

Her eyes were red and puffy, only making me more mad at Mike and more upset that she was blaming herself.

"Tris, look at me," I say. She was looking to the side, trying to avoid my eye contact. I place my hand on the side of her face and guide her head to me. "Just because you broke one of my rules does not mean that you're responsible for or deserve anything that happened to you tonight," I tell her. Of course I was upset that she had disobeyed me, but I will deal with that another time.

"But I still b-broke one of your rules and I d-don't want you to be mad," she says, a tear sliding down her cheek. She was disappointed in herself.

"That's not what I'm worried about right now, you know that," I say, pushing her hair out of her face. "I want you to talk to me, tell me what I can do to make you feel better. I'm here for you, love."

She bites her bottom lip, which distracts me from making eye contact with her for a couple of seconds. "You can't do anything. I feel..." she stops and thinks for a second. "Gross," she comes up with the right word. "I can't stop t-thinking about... him inside me." Her voice got quieter as she spoke. She sounded like she was ashamed of what had happened to her.

I close my eyes and purse my lips. Part of me was hoping Mike hadn't done anything with Tris besides undress her, but that wishful thinking was ruined when she said 'inside me.' A wave of anger rushed over me, knowing it was confirmed. She was young, innocent. Mike took something away from her that she will never be able to get back. Something that should have been saved for someone she cared about. I don't even know what we'd do if she was pregnant.

"It's hard, I know it must be. But I'm going to help you through this the whole time, love. Whatever you need, I got it," I try to provide some comfort, but I know this is just going to take time. The best thing I can do is just sit, listen, and try to understand what she is going through.

"Why don't we go rinse off by the waterfall? I think it might help you a little. That sound good?" I say, knowing my suggestion was flawed, but it was the best I could come up with right now. I wish I could make her forget about tonight, about Mike, but I couldn't.

Tris nods her head. "Okay," she agrees. She crawls off of my lap slowly and grabs her clothes. She doesn't put on the sweatpants, but she puts on her long T-shirt before standing up. She somehow looked angelic, standing silently, the moonlight grazing her soft, pale skin, her messy, blonde hair falling just past her shoulders.

"Come here," I say, holding my arms out for her, forcing myself out of my trance and hoping I wasn't staring too long. She looks up at me, hesitant at first, but then walks over to me.

I pick her up and carry her on my hip. "You're such a brave girl, Tris. We're going to get through this in no time," I whisper into her ear. She nods and relaxes her head on my shoulder. I'm not sure if she believed me, but it was true. Tris has been through so much, I know she can survive this too.