Red

51

It was my idea to sneak away into the woods.

I didn't want to be close to Van when I was hanging out with Sam. Because it was incredibly difficult to think of anything except for him when he was in sight.

No matter what Sam and I were talking about, my eyes couldn't help wandering over to Van every few seconds. I couldn't concentrate on what Sam was saying because, for some reason, Van's back and the way he leaned back on his hands which were buried in the sand became the most intriguing thing to me.

I wanted him to turn around and look at me. It was like I needed reassurance from him that being away from him was okay.

Sam was hesitant to agree at first, and I understood why. Van didn't want us going far away. And being on Van's "bad" side is never a good thing, I would know.

But, I eventually was able to convince him after enough pleading, enough puppy dog eyes, and enough promising to take the blame if we get caught.

"You're so crazy, you know," Sam says once we were deep enough in the woods to not be seen by anyone else. "Van will practically kill us when he finds us missing." He chuckled when he spoke, but I could tell he wasn't completely joking.

"If," I say. "If he finds out we're missing." I kept telling myself that Van wouldn't notice us missing, but I knew he would sooner or later. There's no way he wouldn't turn around to check on us soon.

And I felt a pang of guilt, knowing he would go out looking for us once he did see us gone. I didn't want to think about how scared he was going to be when he noticed us missing, but I couldn't help it. It didn't help at all knowing he would ruin Bondy's night, too, by dragging him along on his search for Sam and me.

But once we reached the waterfall, that feeling faded. It was still there, of course. Van would always be in the back of my mind, but I wasn't with Van right now. I was with Sam. So I had to think of Sam.

He grabbed my hand before walking up the rocks and sitting down. I stick my feet in the cool water and try to push away the memories of the night Van and I were here.

"What do you want to do once we get off this island?" I ask, curious, but also hoping it would help me focus less on Van. I look over at him and admire the faint smile on his face as he thought about life outside of here. I wish I also had something left for me outside of this island, something that could bring me even just a little joy, like it did for Sam.

"I'd like to be a singer," he says with a chuckle. "I'd tour the world with you by my side. Unless you have other plans?" He raises his eyebrow at me, expecting me to answer.

But I didn't want to tell him that I had nothing anymore. I didn't want him to see me as broken. 

"Nope. I like your plan," I say. "As long as I get to be front row at all your shows." Unsurprisingly, the talk of music made me think of Van again. I thought of when he sang to me, how his lyrics felt so simple yet so powerful.

And then I thought about what Van would be doing if we got out of here. I couldn't stand the thought of him going off and doing his own thing. I didn't want him to forget about me because there is no way I could forget about him.

"I think we can make that work," he says. "You think we're going to be rescued?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I'd like to be. I don't know anymore though. I feel like it's been too long," I admit, though I wasn't telling the full truth. I didn't know if I wanted to be rescued. But I couldn't tell him that, I didn't want him to ask why, and I didn't want to have to explain. I didn't want to seem pathetic.

"That's what I'm thinking too," Sam says with a sigh. "But as long as you're around, I guess I can't complain too much about anything."

He lets go of my hand and moves closer to me, wrapping his arm around my side. I lean my head on his shoulder. "I wouldn't mind it here as much if there could be more moments like these and less with Mike," I tell him, aimlessly pushing the water around with my feet and watching the ripples form.

"That makes two of us," he says. "I wish there was a Gregg's here, so I could take you on a proper date." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Gregg's is definitely a proper date," I chuckle, sarcasm evident in my statement.

"Oh, it is. C'mon, their sausage rolls are to die for," he tells me, giving me a gentle nudge.

"Nah, they're not all that great," I tell him. "Most definitely not 'to die for.'"

"Well, then maybe I'll have to find a girl who will appreciate Gregg's to take on a proper date," he says.

"Maybe," I say with a smile on my face. I push myself into the waist high water, not thinking about how Van would immediately know I had been at the waterfall once he saw my wet clothes, and turn around to face Sam. "I'm sorry things didn't work out," I frown.

"And I'm sorry you have bad taste," he tells me while sliding into the water next to me.

I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands. "Take that back right now," I dramatically demand.

"Or else?" He asks.

"Or else I splash you," I say, my threat sounding anything but threatening.

"Splash me? You mean like this?" Sam questions, proceeding to splash me right after.

I squeal and turn around when the cold water touches my face. "Uh uh," I say, wiping the water from my eyes. "I actually mean like this." I turn around and splash him back, something I'm sure he saw coming.

But before Sam could say anything back, someone else spoke up. "I just want the girl," the voice says, a familiar but undesired voice.

Mike's voice.

I turn around to see two other men alongside Mike and take a step closer to Sam who grabs my hand, providing me with the slightest bit of comfort. "What do you want?" Sam asks. Even if he was scared, he didn't sound it at all. I don't know how he did it, or how Van did it. They could both hide their feelings so well, but I am practically an open book, I'm so easy to read.

"I think you know what we want," Mike tells him, but he was looking at me, his eyes moving up and down my body. "Listen, man, you can make this real easy if you just hand her over." The smirk on his face only made me more uncomfortable.

"Get out of here," Sam says. He steps out of the water and walks up to Mike.

I could feel my heart rate pick up and immediately regretted suggesting we leave the beach area. Van told us to stay to protect us, and I knew that. But I didn't actually expect something to happen. 

Sam was strong, but he couldn't defend himself against three other strong men. That's why we needed Van here. He would be able to handle this, he'd know exactly what to do.

But I had no clue what to do. I couldn't run away to find Van, not when it would mean leaving Sam alone alone with Mike. And not when the other men could easily grab me if I ran.

So I stand anxiously in the water with my fingernails digging into my palms watching Sam and Mike stand only a few inches apart from each other.

I tried to think about Van, about what he would be doing in a moment like this. I tried to open my fists and slow my breathing as I know he would tell me to do. But I couldn't. I couldn't think straight.

So I stood there, still and useless, until Mike pushed Sam back and sent him stumbling backwards. That was the only thing that made me realize I had to do something.

Even though I didn't know if it was the right thing to do, I did it anyway. And I did it because, right now, yelling for Van was the only thing that I could do.