Broken Youth

Chapter 41

~ Chapter Forty-One ~

••Luke••

"Calum."

"Go away." I sighed. All he did was lie in his bed and cry. Or look at photos of her and cry. Or write songs and cry. Or look at old messages and cry. Sometimes he yelled and screamed and threw things. Other times he'd sit silent and distant. But most times he'd just cry.

"Calum."

"No, Luke, please." His voice shook as it began to crack, a sniffle sending me into overdrive. He was dying inside. I rested my head against the closed door, sighing until my eyes closed.

"You need to come out and eat something."

"N-no."

"Cal, please."

"I c-can't."

"Don't, don't do this. Don't drift away into nothing." My throat closed up as the door opened slightly, the crack exposing only the smallest part of the darkness he was living in.

"I am nothing."

"No you're not." I pushed the door open, it swinging on its hinge as Calum just blinked at me, the tears rolling freely down his face.

"Without her I'm nothing. Absolutely nothing." And he collapsed.

"Cal-"

"I feel broke, like half of a whole. I have no hand to hold. I'm torn like a sail in the storm. Without her, I'm nothing, Luke. I always will be. I need her. The one thing I can never have." I sank to my knees, bringing Calum into a hug, our bodies somehow fitting together to create a mesh of heat as he sobbed into my chest, my own tear ducts releasing tears at the sight of my broken best friend.

"I promise I'll try and repair you." I chocked out, scheming how I was going to make this all right again. Brain chemistry was easy to change if you knew how; if you were the most powerful vampire that's ever existed; if you were Calum.

"I want her back."

"I know, I know."

"It's like I'm constantly in this world of hurt and darkness. It's like someone's trying to pull my heart out of my chest. I can't breathe anymore. All I see is her lying in the snow as we all laugh, not releasing she'd taken her final natural breath. I didn't realise. And I feel stupid." He pulled away and closed the door, leaving me on my knees in front of the oak barrier.

"I love you, Cal, always remember that." I whispered, hoping he'd hear me. I stayed there, for days it seemed like, just watching his door not move, his sobbing never subsiding as the slow strum of a guitar lulled me to sleep. Ren brought me food when she was round and not with Megan or Mali. Harry would give me a sad smile if he wasn't holding Michael and Niall in sanity next door. And for Ashton. I hadn't a clue. Many of us had just gone; to the mountain, on a trip to Wastelands, The City. But Ash, he'd just gone. As if I could blame him.

"You need to get up." Jess shook me awake, her voice straining.

"No. No I don't-"

"Yes. Yes you do. Come on Lucas." She pulled my arm, hands gripping tight as she lead me down the stairs, out the house and to her car, the engine on, heater blasting air into the car, the music dull and sad.

"Jessica, it's 3am." I grumbled, fumbling to plug my seatbelt in as Jess pulled away from Ash's house and down the road. I watched as lights, houses and road signs whizzed by, the twisting, turning journey inspiring a song lyric. "I wanna get lost and drive forever..."

"Now is not the time for song lyrics." Her voice got richer and angrier by the syllable, clear dread in her tone as we slowed to a stop outside Megan's house.

"What are we do-"

"You'll see." I got out the car, the thin grey hoodie barely confining my warmth, as Jess once again pulled me to the house, yelling echoing in my head as she pushed open the door.

"... Why couldn't you have told me? Why couldn't you have at least warned me this would happen?" Ash's voice was unmistakable, booming through the halls, my feet picking up pace towards to the light and full lounge room.

"She was already dead, Ashton!" Calum screamed back, anger in his fists, voice and eyes.

"I thought he wa-"

"So did I, until I came here." Jess shrugged.

"Already dead? She was pretty damn alive when I saw her!"

"Ashton! She was dead inside! It was only time before her black organs started to show on the exterior of her body!" His voice broke, Ashton's angry expression faulting for just a second.

"It's been 5 days, Calum Hood and still I don't understand how the fuck you could sit there knowing that she was dying, how you could treat her the same and not tell us she was taking her last fucking breaths!"

"She didn't want me to! I wasn't going to break her only promise on her fucking death bed was I?" They were both screaming at each other, the anger and sadness blinding them.

"And you know what else pisses me off? You never told her how much you fucking loved her. And now she's dead, Calum. But you know what's worse? She felt the exact same damn way." His eyes met with Calum's, breaking Cal's heart into as many pieces something so breakable could break into, crushing his every cell to pulp.

"S-she l-loved m-me?"

"More than anything else on this planet."

"Oh my god." Gemma sank to her knees, tears falling like waterfalls, hand clamped over her mouth as realisation was taken over by shock.

"But now it's another lost cause." Ashton let himself fall into the chair behind him, Calum on his knees in front of him, the tears falling faster and harder than before.

"NO!" Calum screamed, voice strangling those of us around him, the pain and heart break laced in the one word, attaching itself to every inch of the room, cobwebbing intricate designs in the corners to show off his love for her before branching off into great pine trees on the walls, painting delicate pictures of their invisible bond.

"She didn't believe in love." Michael seemed determined to make sure Calum didn't sit in regret.

"Until she met Calum."

"Tell me your lying." Cal whispered, anger and regret laced with his words.

"Trust me: I wish I was. She shouldn't have fallen for an asshole like you." With those words, Ashton left the house, slamming doors along the way before the sound of his car revving filled the silence of the street.

Well shit.

[Authors Note]

New POV. Eek. Well, he's only new in the sense that I've never written his POV into the actual book; Luke's Letters is his POV.

Shit went down. Yeah Cal and Ash hate each other, but they have good reasons. And... There's gonna be some more chapters of hate and new stuff, before we calm it all down again.

AND TODAY MARKS THE FIRST DAY I STARTED WRITING THIS. God it was the best decision of my life. This book has come so far and my writing has grown so much... I hope. The ideas have been developed in ways I could not imagine, full of characters I didn't think would be there. It's been a year. A whole damn year and I've loved every minute of it. I'm so proud of my baby. Harry and Meg have come so far and random ass boys I never thought I'd want in here are now here: hey Aussies. And girls I didn't think would be penned into the plans: hey girls, you know who you 4 are. I've had so much fun and here's to 2015. I love you all and thank you for the constant support.

Oh and y'all should check out 'Devilish' if you want?

TOMORROW WILL BE EVEN MORE FUN. And full of surprises... Wink. Wink.

Meg x