Broken Youth

Luke's Letters: LAUREN.

[This is SO fucking important. So read.]

Dear Lauren,

I found your letter to Calum. I guess I should give it to him. But I need to write it out here first; I don't wanna lose it or forget it. Here I know it'll be safe. I've booked the tickets to Australia like you told me: 3 weeks. But first Calum must forget who you are: I'm sorry. It's for the best.

Cal,

You're amazing. Really. You've been there for me at all times and there hasn't been a second when I haven't wanted to have you there beside me. However there were so many times when you weren't beside me; because I was too damn stupid to realise the reason why. I just assumed it was the longing to have someone there, anyone, but really it was only you that fulfilled that need. I had a constant longing to have you with me, your hand in mine, our sides bumping, smiles decorating our faces, my heart leaping at the heat between us, my stomach letting trapped butterflies free, yet never once did that happen. We kissed, we had sex, you made me feel like I was on top of the world, but I never searched for the deeper feeling. I never saw the sex or the kisses as romantic; it was just a way out. I dreamt about moments between us that would change our lives and that we would have people drooling over our relationship, but it never happened. It was always Meg and Harry. Always. They were the two I couldn't look at directly in the eye when they were together, I couldn't see the love in their eyes, I couldn't see the adoration Harry had for her or the pure delight in Megan's eyes when Harry kissed her. Because it was never gonna be us. And I couldn't stand that thought. Luke and Ren used to have a dreamy relationship, before she left him. All good things end I suppose; but then again, they're together now and even if Harry has to die, she won't ever forget him.

You see, I was stupid and blind. 3 centuries. 3 centuries I had to tell you about what my heart did when I first laid eyes on your gorgeous face, what my stomach did when you asked me for that dance, what my hands did when you took one and kissed it, how my head felt the next day when all I could think was your smile and your eyes shinning and your lips moving when you spoke to me, the way your laugh got louder and rubbed your eyes as you found it more funny and how deep your voice was when I said I liked you, how stupid you were when you tripped over your own feet as you lead me to my car. I had 3 centuries. But I sat there in denial. Assuming you felt the same way, the feeling-less sex, the firework-less kisses, the heat-less touches and the empty goodbyes and hellos. But really, both of us felt the opposite. I realised that day in the snow that I may have fallen in love with the one person I wanted to do the opposite. I knew about Maddy and the almost-engagement, I knew about the stupid snapchat shit back in 2014, I knew about the random hook ups for a year after Maddy left you, I knew about the heartless 10 years you had after Ren left Luke; when you're whole idea of love still existing disappeared with one couple breaking apart. I knew you were the most powerful vampire ever to exist, you still are, you're so strong and powerful and the anger in you can change who you are, but the love can make you as weak as me, I knew that you could change your brain chemistry and the way your body was made. I knew it all. So I didn't want to fall in love. I didn't believe in it. Until you.

Calum, you screwed up everything. You ruined it all. Fuck you. Your stupid gorgeous fucking face and your damn big biceps and your beautiful body and long legs and your heart. God it all; ruined my plans. And made me fall in love with you. I wasn't supposed to- we were just meant to be friends, maybe with benefits, but just friends. Look what happened. Look what you did, you damn idiot. You've made me feel so wanted and special and loved for 3 centuries and not once did I consider the fact that I could possibly be in love with you. Until now. Too late. I'm dying, you know I am, but I'm not the only one.

There's an illness in all of us. We've been alive for too long and been exposed to too much; we're slowly getting killed. I was the first so I did research with Gemma and contacted Georgia and made sure Luke was aware of where this letter was going to be. He'd make sure you find it. Look, it's the illness that killed Luke's parents and made Ashton and myself orphans, it's the original sickness that made us vampires. Baby, the cure is in Australia. Your parents know- I've talked to them too. There are vampires there that have been cured; you must tell everyone and take them. You must all go, all go and get your cure. Please. I can't die without telling you, Cal, you must do what I say. Luke is already weak; Ren fell in love with him without the help of his power and Meg broke the spell, she didn't stay with him. He's weak and will be the next to die if you don't do what I say. You'll be the next one. You're powerful baby, so strong, but you will weaken. You'll be the last vampire ever to exist if you don't do this.

I'm sorry I didn't do what I should have done years ago. I'm sorry. I love you. I always have. Don't forget me. I could never forget you.

Yours always,

Lauren.

Lauren. I wish you could see; I wish you could see him dying and falling to his weakness. I wish you could stop him. I wish a damn true loves kiss would stop him. I'll give him the letter, I promise. We'll sort this out. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, I should have known. You're amazing, you know that? You loved. You loved and that's what made your life so special.

Love always.

Luke.

[Authors Note]

I cried so much writing this.

I listened to in this order:

- Beside You
- Close As Strangers
- Wherever You Are
- Everything I Didn't Say
- Amnesia