Broken Youth

Chapter 39

~ Chapter Thirty-Nine ~

••Calum••

Maybe if I'd listened to her more it wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I'd kissed her longer she'd still be breathing. Maybe if I'd held her closer she wouldn't have slipped through my fingertips. Maybe if I'd said how I felt more often I wouldn't feel so guilty. But we all regret some chances we take and we all make mistakes. She was one of mine. A mistake. But she was a beautiful mistake and she's a chance I don't regret taking.

It was the Monday after the Friday we'd all spent dancing and laughing and crying, that it started. And it was the Tuesday after that Monday that it finished. I realised, I think, too late, that it was happening, so I was left with the aftermath of the time bomb that was her and that's what caused the most damage; the remains of a beautiful creature.

*

"You're okay to go out then?" Lauren nodded at me, pulling the scarf around her neck and shuffling to the door, her socks ruffling.

"I'll be fine." Her voice was gruff from coughing throughout the night, her lips redder than usual, the blood continually staining her lips. She told me after the 3rd time she threw up blood, that she was going to die but of course I saw it as a figure of speech. Now I knew what she really meant and I knew everything I needed to, to stop it from happening again. I was the key to the lock. I held the information.

Harry bustled down the stairs, gloves for both myself and Lauren in his hands, looking directly at a sniffling Lo as he passed.

"Watch her." He whispered gently, his hand lingering on my arm. Seems Lou's told him something of the future.

"I can't wait to be out there. All this faffing with snow boots and massive puffer-jackets is taking away the magic. Just open the door and let a out, Harry."

"Michael are you stupid? It's minus 10 degrees outside."

"And?" Mike came into sight, holding his jacket and shoes, a scarf loosely round his neck and his SnapBack still hiding his head hair. I chucked at his face as Harry demanded once again that Mike put the layers on and hurried up.

"The snow won't melt, H, we have time." Gem jumped down the stairs, her Rilke poetry book in hand to read to us as we played in the snow. The same thing happened last time she came; only Harry was much less happier.

"No we don't have time. Only 24 hours." His voice was stone cold, my hands tingled as he breathed, the room silent. Lauren looked at me as my heart picked up speed. Louis had told him something but only a time limit; the future still was dazed.

"Someone jumped out of the wrong bed," Luke winked, his boats clomping on the laminate floor, Ren's hand in his as she trailed behind him slightly, a series of giggles and excited chatter following, coats shuffling against each other and heavy footsteps echoing along the path the girls were taking.

"Got this bunch of excite puppies from the back room- we ready to run?"

"Leggo!" Lauren jumped up, grabbing my hand and grinning at me as she opened the door, the crystal white of the snow blinding us slightly.

"Sunglasses lads!" I shoved mine on, calling back to the rest of the group before pulling Lauren into my back and charging into Ash's field, the gate already rammed open.

"It's like the North Pole!" Michael screamed, his arms open, scarf hanging down, getting in the way of his feet.

"Fuck these scarfs are annoying as hell." Luke tore his off before running infront of me and Lo, Ren's hand tight in his, the two giggling and laughing down the hill to the old bonfire sight.