Broken Youth

Chapter 42

~ Chapter Forty-Two ~

••Calum••

Today.
Funeral. Black.

"Let's go." Ashton hadn't been seen since running into Jess' room last night, much to Jade's disappointment. And now I was worried.

"It's his fucking sisters funeral, why the hell isn't he here?" I checked my tie, the black material chocking the crisp white of the shirt, reflecting how I felt.

"Louis isn't here either; I'm sure they're together talking stuff through." Luke patted my back, checking his hair whilst attempting at calming me down.

"Why not discuss stuff with me? I lost her too." I shuffled towards the door.

"We all did, Cal." I nodded, not bothering to argue with the one vampire I wouldn't dare: he's the 2nd most powerful for a reason. 2nd only to me.

"Let's go, Cal." Harry smiled at me, but the creases by his eyes didn't fold, and his eyes didn't shine. I curved my lips slightly, hoping he'd get that I was grateful and grabbed Megan's hand, her own smile slowly sinking.

"C'mon." I squeezed her hand, following Harry out the door, Luke holding onto Meg's other hand. We needed each other more than ever today.

"I miss her." Meg sobbed quietly.

"So do I, bab-Meg, so do I." Harry glared at the blonde idiot, before getting into the drivers seat. Silence filled the car as we made our way through town to the church the funeral was being held at.

"If this is love, I don't want it." I cried into Megan's shoulder, her grip on my hand tightening as my heart ripped from my chest once again. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"Because it was real." Her words melted like gold in a kiln. God was she right. As always.

*

"Now Lauren's... Partner, Calum Hood is going to say a few words." The old vampire eyed me up, almost sensing my fear as he gently smiled at me. We were lucky we knew a vampire who just so happened to be an old friend and an old vicar. I nodded.

"You'll be fine." Jess whispered, worry still decorating her fresh face. I stumbled up the steps to the podium, nervous about what Ash would think of what I'd prepared. I may be at mad at him: but he was still her brother.

"Everyone dies, but not everyone lives, everyone takes but not everyone gives. Lauren was one of those girls who gave and gave but barely took. She was always delivering jokes and cheering us up, never letting us drown in our fears or get carried away with our powers. She nearly always was there for me. In more ways than one, but then again, I recon I felt more in our most intimate moments than she ever did. And I'm okay with that.

I think you'll all remember Lo as Ash's sister, the one who nearly always had dimples indented in her cheeks, a smile on her face and good morals- and that's exactly who she was. But I knew a different Lauren at times. She become fragile and weak; she caved in and sometimes just spent hours crying at me or yelling at me or even just kissing me because she needed to kiss someone and I was there. If she went through a break-up, and there were many in the years I've known her, I'd always be there to comfort her and it seems she never saw me as anything more than her friend. If she had a fight with any of you lot, she'd always come and scream at me and take her anger out on me and... I didn't care. I let her.

But she never saw me as anything more than a friend. And there were times recently when she's read to much into the future and shit like that, and she knew what was going on in her body: she told me so. But even then, when she told me she knew she'd die sooner than the rest of us and that I was to tell you all and find the so called 'cure', she didn't consider me hers. But I handled that; because I loved her. And I still do. I always will.

She didn't know and I didn't know until this time last year when Luke said something about love being difficult and hidden and not someone you'd think. It's then that I realsied that I'd been in love with Lauren Grace Irwin for 3 centuries and there was no way of letting her know other than telling her. And you know Lo; she doesn't believe in love. But of course I didn't know that at the same time I was realising my love for her, she was falling in love with me." He paused, keeping the tears at bay before opening his mouth again. "I'm not gonna forget her any time soon; she's to precious for that. I didn't realise the pain I'd feel if I lost her, but now I'm facing it. And it's the worst possible pain. Ever. Because I fell in love with her like you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once." I looked over at Ashton, his eyes spilling tears like it was his job. "I love you baby and I'm never gonna let you go." Everyone raised a hand, a round of applause echoing in the room as I left the podium and came to sit back next to Jess. The tears were spilling uncontrollably and there was no words left. She was gone. And now I was lying in the depths of her love, lost and dying. I can't live without her.

Not now. Not ever.

*

"YOU WHAT?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to; I didn't mean to." I sunk to my knees, shaking my head in disbelieve as the words Ashton just spoke sunk in.

"Ashton, he found us; he brought us away from those Devils and gave us a damn family- and you- you killed him." My eyes turned to slits as my glare hardened.

"Cal-"

"I don't care. You killed him. Right after Lauren. You selfish bastard."

[Authors Note]

Wow. So writing this chapter made me cry too. Next one is a hard one to read too I guess... Poor Cal. I've been listening to too many sad songs. Ah dear.

Anyway- check out Devilish if you want? And don't forget about Luke's Letters.

Love y'all | Meg x