JOURNEY || JinKook ☑️

FORTY TWO - OUT

Jungkook

My relationship with Jin is going strong. For the past few months, ever since I crossed paths with him, a lot has changed. To me and to my son, Soobin.

My son is now very mature and understanding. Seokjin taught him well and I saw a lot of positive changes to my son's attitude. Before, he was sullen and indignant. But Seokjin is great in handling him that Soobin started to open up to me. Now, he is a sweet and loving little boy.

As for me, I am once cold-hearted and detached. I hate sympathy and I hate life in general. Truly, the pain I experienced before almost resulted in losing my son's love and trust. I fucked up as a father, a brother, and a friend. Who would have thought that a stranger, someone not close to me, will have the guts to tell me how fucked up and worthless I really am? It opened my heart and mind. It's good that someone stepped to my ego. At least, it made me realize a lot of things. I slowly picked my self up. First, I needed to be a father to Soobin. And I think, I made a lot of progress by now.

"Where are we going?" Soobin asked from the backseat.

I looked at him through the rear-view mirror and smiled at him. "You said you want ice cream. I will treat you for an ice cream."

Soobin claps and his butt bouncing on the seat. "Thank you, daddy! I love you!"

My heart flutters. Hearing from my son that he loves me brings tears to my eyes. A child saying I love you is so sincere and real. I'm glad I made the right choice to change before it's too late. Somehow, the pains I've gone through is slowly turning into happiness.

"Do you really love, daddy?" I asked and I saw him nods from the mirror. "Even when daddy is sometimes bad?"

He shakes his head. "No daddy. Don't say you're bad. Teacher Jinnie told me that you're not a bad person. He told me that you're very sad and lonely that's why you sometimes yell at me or keeps on forgetting things. He told me to love you more so I can make you happy."

A tear escapes from my eye. I can't help it. My son matured too fast. I regret the times I did not spend time with him. When he's still very little. "Are you happy with me, Binnie?"

"Yes, daddy. I want you to be happy too." His little voice gives me a reassurance that I am doing the right thing in life.

"Binnie, can I ask you something?"

He nods.

"If you will be a given a chance to have a new appa, do you like it?" I think my question made me more nervous than it does to Soobin. I am worried or perhaps scared, of what my son thinks of the idea.

Soobin went quiet but I'm sure he's thinking by the look on his face. "Daddy, I don't want another appa."

His answer hits me hard. My heart that flutters with joy earlier now flutter in fear. Fear that my son will not like the idea of me having a partner.

"I only like Teacher Jinnie."

My eyes quickly went back to the rearview to check his reaction. He's frowning. "What do you mean you only like Teacher Jinnie?"

Soobin pouts while playing with the strap of his bag on his lap. "I don't want other appa. I only want appa Ken to be my appa. But if I will have a new appa, I only want Teacher Jinnie to be my new papa. I'm sorry daddy but I don't like the woman you brought last time."

I wanted to laugh in joy. It feels like I succeeded already. It excites me that Soobin has his own view about having appa. And he doesn't want a new appa, but papa. Perhaps, he still wants to differentiate the two of the most important man in my life.

"Binnie, that woman is not daddy's girlfriend. I'm sorry if I brought her to our house. I promise you, she will never be your eomma.

Secondly, I like Teacher Jinnie too. I actually love him. And I hope it's okay with you."

His eyes widen in surprise. His surprise slowly turning into a wide smile. "You love my Teacher Jinnie?!"

I nodded and Soobin screamed. There's nothing more fulfilling than seeing your child happy.

"Yes Binnie, I love Teacher Jinnie and we will go to him before we go to ice cream shop. Will that be okay with you?"

"Yes yes! I want Teacher Jinnie to eat ice cream with me." Soobin said excitedly.

Jin and I planned to talk to Soobin about our current status. We have been dating for quite some time now. He is always with me at my apartment every weekend. Jin said he doesn't like the idea that Soobin is clueless about us but he's also afraid that Soobin will not like the idea so I decided to talk to Soobin by myself. And I'm happy with the outcome.

"Why are we here? Are we going to visit appa?" Soobin asked as we stopped at the columbarium.

I did not speak, instead, I helped him remove the seat belt and we hopped out of the car. I can already see Jin waiting for us on the stairs. He smiled when he spotted us.

I told him that if we arrived on or before 10 in the morning, it means that Soobin already knows and accepts the idea of us being in a relationship. If we didn't arrive, it means Soobin doesn't like us.

"Hello Teacher Jinnie, are you going to visit my appa too?" Soobin asked while holding Jin's hand.

Jin sat down so he's eye level with Soobin. "You want to meet Haneul, right Binnie?"

He smiled and nodded excitedly. "Is he coming too? I want to meet and play with him!"

We walked inside where the vaults are located. Jin lighted a candle and placed a flower on the holders before facing Soobin with a smile. "Binnie, this is Haneul, my son."

Soobin looks confused. He stares at the vault and to the picture inside it. I know he gets it. Soobin is a smart boy.

"My appa is also inside the square. But my appa is already an angel. Does it mean, Haneul is an angel too?"

Jin nods. He opens the vault and gets the picture, giving it to Soobin. "Haneul is also an angel Binnie. You're right. I'm sorry if he cannot play with you anymore but I am sure that he's happy that I have you with me."

Soobin gives Jin a sad look. "Appa is happy too because I have you Teacher Jinnie."

Jin cries and grabs Soobin, wrapping him in a tight embrace.