JOURNEY || JinKook ☑️

FORTY THREE - BUILD

It's been months since Jungkook and I are dating exclusively. Having Soobin favoring our relationship made everything easy for us. We used to keep it from Soobin for weeks but it didn't do any good as I felt we were like kids concealing something from our parents.

Our main concern at that time was how Soobin will understand that I will not take the place of his appa Ken. How Soobin will understand that I am his father's partner. I know my place or shall I say, I know where to stand. Though I really really love Jungkook, I don't want to compete with Ken. I want Jungkook to love me for who I am and not because I have similarities with Ken. And I'm glad that everything is going on well. Both with Jungkook and Soobin.

What I love about Jungkook, he never compares. Though there are times when he still mentions his ex-partner, I fully understand that it's just a simple conversation that you will mention someone you know. And before getting into this relationship, I made sure that I readied my self in that kind of situation.

I never get jealous over Ken. Jungkook mentioning him is part of his healing. And I am going to stick to my promise that I will help him heal. Taehyung told me that Jungkook improved a lot and he's not showing any more signs of depression or grief. His eyes are now lively and overall, he's happier. His patience also improved so much both to me and to Soobin. But what's important to me is he's now trying to be the best father to his son and that is my most important goal.

At an early age, Soobin endured a lot. Growing up without his appa and with an irresponsible father is unimaginable. Perhaps, being an adopted made me realize the importance of having my parents beside me. I can't imagine myself growing up if I am not adopted. Maybe I am not a teacher right now. Maybe I am a school drop out or a lost soul.

Losing a kid also made me realize that life is short. That you need to spend it fully and meaningfully with the person you love the most. It's hard to regret the things that you should have done when you still have the time. Because time is something that you cannot bring back.

That's the reason why I have a special feeling over Soobin. I want him to feel the love of his father. I don't want him to think that he is alone and being taken for granted. I guess that's one of the worst feelings that a child can feel. The feeling of being abandoned. A child should always feel being loved. Apart from giving them their needs, emotional needs are part of nurturing them. And that's what Soobin was lacking before.

And for Jungkook, I don't want him to regret not doing the things that he should have done. He already regretted the times that he lost with Ken, why do the same to his own son? The living memory of Ken? I began as a nosy teacher to him. But I guess I made the right choice of making him realize that he should be a responsible father. And I'm glad that he took the challenge. And because of that, we are closer now. And eventually, love blossomed.

Lately, Jungkook has been insisting that I should move in with them. I refused. As much as I want to but I suggested that we should wait some more. It's not that I don't want to be with them every day, but I want to make sure that Jungkook is really ready to be in a more serious relationship. Being single that long is not a joke.

"What are you cooking Papa Jinnie?" I looked behind and saw Soobin pulling a chair, climbing on top of it, and peeking at the pot.

"I'm cooking Soybean Paste Stew Binnie. But I cooked your favorite appa's spaghetti and fried chicken." Sunday has been our family day. After visiting Haneul and Ken, we will go to Jungkook's apartment, have lunch, watch some movies, and take a nap. Friday night to Sunday morning, Soobin still goes to Taehyung and Jimin's home for his weekly play date with his cousin Jihoon.

"Can I taste that?" Soobin looked at me with his big round eyes and smiled at me flashing his bunny teeth. I can say that he's Jungkook's carbon copy. No question asked.

"Of course you can. Homemade foods are better than take-out." I lifted Soobin and put him back to his feet. "Wash your hands and help me prepare the table. The lunch is ready!"

I put the pot on the table with the other meals I prepared for lunch. While Soobin is busy preparing the table, I went to the living area to call Jungkook.

"Lunch is ready, Kookie."

Jungkook quickly stands up rubbing his stomach. He holds my hand as we walk back to the kitchen. "I'm starving! What do we have for lunch?"

When Jungkook saw the foods in the middle of the table, he looks at me shaking his head. "Soybean Stew again?"

"What's wrong with Soybean Stew?" I frowned at him as his face looked disgusted after seeing the food I just cooked.

"Jin, I'm not saying that there's something wrong but you've been eating that for four days in a row," Jungkook complained still staring at the pot.

"Those were take-outs. This one is homemade." I argued. I have a point anyways.

"Take outs or homemade, it's still soybean stew."

"Then don't eat it if you don't want to. I'm not asking you to eat it. I cooked it for me and Soobin." I looked at Soobin then gave him a bowl of the soup. "Here's your stew Binnie. Tell me if you like it, okay?"

Soobin took it. He looked excited. "Thank you Papa Jinnie."

I felt Jungkook's hand on my thigh, rubbing it. He knows that I got annoyed with what he said. It's petty I know but is it wrong to crave a particular food every day? We all have that moment.

"Sorry. You can eat soybean stew every day. It's just a bit odd because it's been four days and you're still eating as if you haven't eaten that in a long time." Jungkook said apologetically. Honestly, he's right.

"I'm just craving for it like I can eat this dish all day. I'm not sure if it's the stew or the tofu but I love the texture of the tofu. It feels great in my mouth. Am I being weird?" I asked feeling bad. I can't understand what I'm feeling too.

"No you're not weird babe. Just eat whatever you like. What's important is you're happy." Jungkook smiled even adding more soup into my bowl.

Times like this warms my heart. I am dreaming to have my own loving family. I tried once and it's a failed one. I even lost my kid. I am hoping that this time, Jungkook and I can build a happy one. Maybe not an ideal or perfect one, but a happy and loving family is enough.