Closing the Books

C11

I didn't tell Aiden about my midterm grade that night.

"Here's dinner" umupo siya sa harap ko at nangalumbaba habang nakatingin sa akin

Tinaas ko ang kilay ko kasi ang lawak ng ngiti niya

"Bakit?"

"Nothing, I just really missed you"

I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling and just looked away "Kumain nalang nga tayo"

He chuckled but did exactly what I said.

"So what's keeping you busy these days?" He asked in the middle of our dinner

I almost stopped but then I proceeded on pretending like nothing's wrong.

I don't know how to tell him that I failed one of my majors

I don't know how to tell him because I don't wanna tell him

"Same old, pero mas grabe kasi graduating na"

"Kaya pala halos hindi na tayo magkita" natawa ako kasi ngumuso siya. Nagtatampo talaga na parang bata lang

"Alam ko rin namang marami kang ginagawa kaya wag kang maarte jan"

Tumawa siya sa sinabi ko "I was also thinking about a lot of things in the past few days"

Tumaas ang kilay ko at tumingin sa kaya. I was waiting for him to tell me about the offer but he just shrugged

"But it's okay now because I finally got to see you" he gave me that charming smile again so I just smirked and shook my head

I allowed myself to be with him that night but then I started thinking that maybe I really was distracted?

Because the whole time that we were together, although he let me be and let me reviewed, I still can't help it but to look at him

It's not his fault because he's not even doing anything to distract me

Siguro kasi hindi naman talaga ako palaaral kaya madali akong madistract pero wala talaga akong naintindihan sa inaaral ko habang magkasama kami.

"Uwi na ako" paalam ko sa kanya pagkatapos ng ilang oras

I give up. I already made my peace na hindi ako makakaaral nang mabuti kapag magkasama kami kasi parang mas gusto ko nalang siyang tignan at makipag-ngitian sa kanya.

I can't afford that right now.

"Hatid na kita" he offered and stood up but I just shook my head

"Kaya ko na, Aiden. Wag ka na mag-abala" halata sa expression niya na ayaw niya sa sagot ko, nakonsensya tuloy ako dahil sa itsura niya dahil baka akalain niya nanaman na may nagawa siyang masama kahit wala naman.

I offered him a small smile to assure him that nothing's wrong before leaving his condo

Habang nagdadrive iniisip ko kung anong gagawin ko.

I like Aiden, I know that.

He made me somehow forget all my troubles tonight because being with him just does that. He makes me feel light and relaxed

But I can't afford to feel light and relax when I should be studying my ass out to pull my grades up.

I need to set my priorities straight because if this is distracting me from achieving my goal then I have to let go.

Pero ang hirap kasi ayoko

Just the mere thought of leaving Aiden, though we're technically not together yet, is enough to make me go nuts