HARRY STYLES - IMAGINES

We'll be alright, HS

this is also for everyone preparing for finals and other important exams that are talking place despite the lockdown. And for everyone with equally bad lessons over hourlong zoom and teams meetings and 708 mails a day. And especially for those with bad lessons, 708 mails and finals combined. I apologize for the long break but I am one of those. - Nica xo

First, during lesson and in a moment of confidence and hope, I thought I could maybe make it. I thought that maybe, maybe I wasn't as screwed as I thought and the whole situation wasn't as dark as I assumed. And then I took a look at the old math exam our teacher had shared with us, so that we'd have an example of how such a finals exam could look.

It was the moment when I reached task 12 when I realised that I would probably, no, most definitely fail in this case since there seemed to be not a single equation I could solve. I even had to skip the geometry part and I don't even want to talk about the parabolas, stochastic theory or functions. I was just completely lost.

After just a few seconds of helpless scrolling I felt how my vision turned blurry and a lump formed itself in my throat. I should be able to do this. We learned this in school. Some of it three years ago, some two and a few last year and probability calculus just last week. Still, I felt like the whole eight pages were written in letters or a foreign language.

Determine the solution set of the exponential and logarithmic equation.

I took a look at the equation and shook my head. There was so much to do, I didn't even knew where to actually start.

Determine the function type and the equations of the functions given by the graphs.

Pass, I couldn't even remember how to use this bloody formula and besides, i felt like throwing up if I looked at this system or coordinates any longer.

The conversion from degrees Celsius to degrees Fahrenheit is done using a linear equation...

I closed my laptop, burying my face in my hands. It was over. Fucking over. I would never be able to understand all that, not in the time there was left. It wasn't even like math was the only thing I had to study, oh no. There was biology, geography, English literature, history and psychology, and, on top of all of this, German. And I had to read six books in total, three books for English itself. I had looked over the learning objectives of psychology just a few hours ago, and I had started to collect them all in a single document. It turned out to be seven pages filled with forty-two learning objectives already. Biology and geography together summed up to over forty pages of summary and History I hadn't even started with.

I felt hopeless, completely lost and I really fucking wanted to die. Why was I even here? Attending this stupid school, living on this stupid planet with all its fucked up rules and systems. Why was I forced to learn things I didn't wanted to learn? Why was it that math could be learned and you're stupid if you don't get it, or lazy even? Who determined that, when for example art was a talent and could not be learned? And why couldn't I just be one of those good students and good at math? Good at paying attention during hourlong zoom meetings and taking notes? Why was I me?

A soft knock made me snap up and I frantically dried my wet cheeks before clearing my throat and saying "Come in?". A mop of brown curls came in sight, right before one of the most handsome faces I knew, followed. "Babe I made...oh. What happened?" I shrugged, waving it off. If I would now talk to him about it I would really start to cry and I couldn't risk that. He carefully approached me, eyes wandering over the scribbled letters and numbers; a failed attempt to solve one of the equations. I could feel his hands wrapping around my chest before he pulled me up into a hug. "Stressed?" and that was all it took for me to start sobbing into his shoulder. He simply tightened his grip, resting his chin on top of my head. "Shhh, s'gonna be alright yeah?" I shook my head quickly, shoulders shaking violently. "I'm f-fucking stupid Harry, I-I can't even solve one of these! Not one in eight p-pages Harry! I a-am fucked!" he said nothing, only drawing smoothening circles on my back as I went on. "And I haven't started with the books I am supposed to read for English and psychology, not one! And in history I have not started either and the teacher won't answer my mail regarding the topics I have to look into and I am just...h-how am I going to do this? I don't even wanna do this a-anymore, I fucking....hate me. Why can't I be someone else? Someone good and smart and with self-control and ambitions instead of being a lazy f-fuckin...piece of s-shit." Harry stopped with the circles and leaned back a bit so he could see my face. "What?!" he asked, a slightly unbelieving expression on his face. "Is that how you think of yourself?" I laughed hollow, stepping away from him. "No Harry. That is actually how I am and what I am. Because if I wasn't, I would have started with not only my books but also achieved good grades in math before and looked into psychology and history. Short: I would have been smart, ambitious and foresighted. He slowly shook his head, a soft frown on his face. "If lies keep spewing from those lips then I'm walking out that door." He stated, an almost amused expression on his face. "This is not funny Harry! Look where I am at! Look where I could be if I wasn't such a lazy ass last-minute, on the edge of literal death and insomnia dancing idiot! I would..." "Certainly not be my girlfriend." I blinked surprised. "What does that even mean now? You wouldn't date me if I was organised and had my shit together?" he laughed softly, shaking his head quickly. "Nope." My jaw dropped slightly, I couldn't believe what he just admitted and I honestly didn't knew how to react to it. Insulted? Flattered certainly not.

"What I am saying is, that I would've never even met you if you weren't who you are. Remember where we met?" my frown vanished slowly. "At the library...?" he nodded. "And why?" realisation hit me. "Because I forgot that I had a ten page assignment due the next day. I think it was about how creating doubt into people's minds regarding the news that is or isn't reported in the media affects the way people come to trust political leaders. Yeah that was it. And you..." "I had that one book you were searching for so you approached me, teary eyed and completely done with life, asking me if I maybe, only if it was one hundred percent okay with me, could lend the book to you." I grinned embarrassed, shrugging softly. "Yeah well, I needed it right." Harry laughed softly. "That you did. Never once fully left my mind since then, petal. So, stop with that self-doubting crap and come into the kitchen. I cooked something and I also just remembered the ice cream in the refrigerator. After that we'll look at all of this and I will help you with everything you need help with. I am even willing to read your book out loud for you, and only you."

My eyes were teary again at his words. Words could not describe how much I love this man, nothing could. He must have sensed how moved I was as he grinned softly, winking quickly at me. "Can I hug you" I mumbled, pouting softly. "C'mere love. Never ask for something like that, yeah?" I nodded, snuggling into the soft fabric of his sweater. "I love you." I could feel him inhale deeply before he pressed a kiss on my hair. "I love you too. Now come on, food's getting cold." I hummed in response, linking my fingers with his before following him out of my room. It was going to be okay. We'll be alright.