Santana Lopez Quotes (GLEE)

Laryngitis

Santana and Puck are talking in the choir room.

Puck: My mom found a mole on my head when she was washing my hair on Friday.

Santana: Your mom still washes your hair?

Puck: She started crying about sun block and how she's always telling me to wear a hat when I'm cleaning pools. So, she made me go see Dr. Friedlander, the dermatologist. He said he had to shave my head to get a closer look at it. It was nothing– they maimed me over a freaking freckle! I feel like that guy that lost all his hair, then lost all his strength.

Santana: Samson?

Puck: Agassi. This morning, people actually had the balls to look me in the eye. I mean, it's just a Mohawk, right? I'm still Puckasaurus.

Santana: Actually, I don't know if it's the missing Mohawk or the whining, but I am totally not turned on by you right now.

Santana gets up and leaves.

****

Everyone is in Glee Club.

Will: Finn, why did you stop singing?

Finn: 'Cause you started giving all the male leads to Jesse. It kind of shook my confidence, you know?

Santana: What difference does it make? Everyone knows that my job here is to look hot.

Quinn: My baby hormones are making me moody.

Brittany: There are so many lyrics.

****

Santana and Mercedes perform "The Boy Is Mine" in front of the Glee Club. At the end, they are slightly pushing each other. Will comes up to stop them.

Will: That was intense.

Santana: Don't touch me.

Mercedes: Don't step to me.

Will: I gotta give you guys props for the passion. Maybe hold back on the animosity a little bit, all right?

Santana: Okay. Yeah. I know. I understand.

Santana roughly shoves Mercedes.

Will: Hey, hey, hey! Seriously, this ends now!

He holds them back.

Santana: All right.

Mercedes: Talk to the stick figure.

Will: Please. All right? You can go at it in song, but that is it.

Santana: Enjoy it while you can, Weezie. His hair is already starting to grow back.

Santana walks out.