Santana Lopez Quotes (GLEE)

Duets

Sam enters the choir room.

Sam: Hey, everybody. I'm Sam. Sam... I am. And I don't like green eggs and ham.

Santana: Oh, wow. He has no game.

Will tells everyone they have to sing a duet.

Will: So, this week I want you to pair up and sing a duet. And since you guys all seemed to love our little "Defying Gravity" diva-off, I'm making this a competition.

Mike: What's the winner get?

Will: Dinner for two, on me... at Breadstix.

Everyone gets excited.

Tina: Breadstix! Yes!

Santana: I have to win. I have to win.

****

Santana and Brittany are in Brittany's room on her bed. Santana is laying down on top of Brittany and kissing her neck.

Brittany: I love your sweet lady kisses.

Santana: Mm-hmm. It's a nice break from all that scissoring.

Brittany: We should do a duet together. We should sing Melissa Ethridge's "Come To My Window."

Santana: First of all? There's a lot of talking going on, and I wants to get my mack on.

She goes back to kissing her neck.

Brittany: Well... I don't know, I just... I think we just...

Santana gets up and sits on the bed.

Santana: Okay, second of all? I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies. I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer for about 12 hours now, and I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me, or I can't digest my food.

Santana starts putting her hair in a ponytail.

Brittany: But who are you going to sing a duet with?

Santana smirks.

****

Santana and Mercedes are walking down the hallway.

Mercedes: Why would I want to do a duet with you? We can't stand each other.

They stop at Mercedes' locker.

Santana: Look, Wheezy, I realize I've tried to punch you a couple times, and sometimes, when you're not looking, I put weird things in your food. But it's a new year, and you and I are the best singers at this school.

Mercedes: I don't get what the big deal is, it's just a free trip to Breadstix.

Santana: Um, I'm sorry, have you been to Breadstix? They are legally forbidden to stop bringing you breadsticks. One time I brought a wheelbarrow, and when the manager tried to stop me from filling it up, I called the corporate office and got her fired.

Mercedes: Well, I guess our voices do sorta go together.

Santana: Mm-hmm, that's right, girl! So if we do a duet together, we will be the undisputed top bitches at this school.