Santana Lopez Quotes (GLEE)

The Quarterback

Santana is in the hallway looking at Finn's memorial.

Dottie: Hi, Santana. Shouldn't you be with Tina in Glee Club? I don't mean to pry– it's just, I had Tina mourning in song with the Glee Club until 10:45 at the earliest.

Santana: No, I had to get out of there. Felt like my head was gonna explode.

Bree and other cheerleaders start blowing out the candles.

Santana: Hey, hey, hey, hey. What the hell do you think you're doing?

Bree: Principal Sylvester told us the candles have to go. She said she got a call from the fire marshal.

Santana: *to Figgins* You cannot let her do this.

Bree: Um, he's the janitor.

Figgins: New Santana Lopez is right, Old Santana Lopez. Under the tyrannical jackboot of Sylvester regime, I am powerless, and I am too overcome with Finn Hudson-related grief to fight back.

Santana: Okay, this is... this is insane.

Santana storms off.

****

Santana storms into Sue's office.

Santana: You have no right to take down that memorial.

Sue: Oh, as a matter of fact, I do, Sandbags. I allowed that memorial to remain in the hallway for over a week.

Santana: Oh, please. You wanted that memorial gone because you're such a coldhearted bitch.

Sue: What did you just call me?

Santana: A miserable, self-centered bitch, who has spent every waking minute of the past three years trying to make our lives miserable. I'm officially over it.

Sue: I don't care for your attitude.

Santana: Well, I don't give a hot wet monkey's ass what you care for. You're not my principal. See, I don't go here anymore, Sue, and that means I can finally tell you exactly what I think of you. I have hated you ever since the day I met you. You are a horrible person who never had a nice word to say about Finn Hudson, so don't you dare think for a second that he didn't hate you, too!

Sue: If I were you, I would choose my next few words very carefully.

Santana: What are you gonna do? You gonna expel me?

Sue: You get the hell out of my office!

Santana: How about you make me get the hell out of your office?

Sue: Donna, call the police.

Santana: Donna, you pick up that phone, and I swear to God, I will shove my foot so far up your...

Sue: That's assault!

Santana: No, this is assault!

Santana shoves Sue back into a bookshelf. She looks guilty at first, but then storms out.

****

Santana is standing in front of the Glee Club in the choir room.

Santana: Okay, I know that Finn had his doubts about God, but I am convinced that Squishyteets is up in Heaven right now, plopping down next to his new best friend Fat Elvis, helping themselves to a picnic of baby back ribs smothered in butterscotch pudding and tater tot grease, so, this is for you, Hudson.