Santana Lopez Quotes (GLEE)

Silly Love Songs

Everyone is in the choir room. Finn stands up in front of the club.

Finn: I just wanted to point out that for the first time, an entire week has gone by without any one of us getting slushied. I think the fact that I led the football team to a Conference Championship might have something to do with it. Fact is that I'm the closest thing that this Glee Club has to a celebrity right now. And just like a famous athlete, I want to give to a charity. You guys. So, I'm setting up a kissing booth for a dollar a smooch, and donating the proceeds to Glee Club to help us...

Mercedes: Don't even act like you're trying to help this Glee Club out. You just want to kiss a bunch of girls.

Santana: I've kissed Finn, and can I just say? Not worth a buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man-boobs.

Finn: Do you ever get tired of tearing other people down?

Santana: No, not really.

Finn: 'Cause you always just seem to be meddling in everybody else's business.

Santana: Oh, please. You guys love me. I keep it real, and I'm hilarious.

Lauren: Actually, you're just a bitch.

Everyone just goes, "Whoa!"

Santana: Okay, I'm sorry. You've just got eyes for my man.

Puck: Okay, first of all, I'm not your man.

Quinn: And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby.

Tina: Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged in a 12-step program.

Will: Wait. What?

Santana: You're addicted to vests.

Rachel: The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe I am destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical version of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole.

Everyone goes silent.

Santana: Fine.

Santana grabs her bag and leaves the room.

****

Santana and Brittany are in the hallway. Santana is crying on the floor and Brittany is comforting her.

Brittany: Maybe try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies.

Santana: No. 'Cause I just try to be really, really honest with people when I think that they suck, you know?

Brittany: Yeah.

Santana: No one gets it.

****

Santana walks up to Puck at his locker. She holds up a piece of paper in front of his face.

Puck: What's that?

Santana: It's a receipt. I went to Jared.

She shows him a necklace that she's wearing.