Love and Music

Feelings

It had been about a couple of weeks that Arshi had been doing concerts with the band and she was getting used to the new Lifestyle of  a Musician. She had like 5 concerts back to back in the first week and 3 concerts in the second one. She had thoroughly enjoyed the concerts and had signed numerous autographs. Meanwhile as the concerts continued, she also had a parallel life in the studio producing music with Rahul and Akshat sir. 

She was astonished  seeing the amount of work that people in the band especially Rahul and Akshat sir did. One day after the concert, she had called up Rahul at about 2:30 AM to ask him about his health as he had not been keeping well that week. Arshi had casually asked her about what he was doing and Rahul had as casually replied that he was in the studio with Akshat sir producing the background score for a film whose deadline was after a few weeks. That day Arshi had a lot more respect for him seeing his dedication and passion about music.  

One day the entire band had come to the studio to practice the set as there were some changes that were made in the songs. As it was their 'Chai Time'(Tea Time),everyone was relaxed and were discussing about how they would carry forward the music production and Arshi had given a lot of valuable contribution and suggestions. As Akshat sir was impressed hearing her suggestions, he asked Arshi, "Why don't you join our production team and help me and Rahul with the Additional Music Production for our new music video? I think it would be great to have you and we would have some new company too." Arshi immediately agreed with Akshat sir and Rahul was happy to have Arshi's company too. 

Since that day after the practice sessions were over at about 7:30 PM, Arshi had stayed back with Rahul and Akshat sir to help them with the music production whenever necessary. 

On one such occasion, Akshat sir had left the studio early as he had some work and Arshi and Rahul were left alone in the studio. Rahul was not in a great mood that day and Arshi had noticed that since the time the practice sessions had started. Arshi was worried about him but did not ask him anything for sometime. They worked silently for a few hours but Arshi disliked the silence as well as seeing Rahul in a bad mood. She asked him worriedly,"Are you okay?" Rahul just nodded and continued his work but Arshi sensed something wrong, After about an hour as the work was coming to satisfactory end at 1:30 AM, Arshi could not control herself anymore. She turned Rahul's chair and held his hands and whispered softly, "Listen, Rahul. I know something is wrong. Tell me what is wrong, please. I might not be able to help you but at least support you. If there is something that is troubling you, you can share it with me. I have never seen you so disturbed mentally and emotionally." Rahul could not control himself anymore and streams of tears flew down his eyes. Arshi was also surprised seeing the sudden outburst of emotions. Rahul cried and cried and Arshi did not stop the tears from flowing and instead just held his hands and sat with him.

After about 15 minutes Rahul regained his composure and said,"I don't know how to say this. I am going crazy with all the family issues at home. My mom is really unhappy and my Dad is too busy. You know that I always had issues with my dad but now it is becoming obnoxious for me and mom to handle him. He is always out of home and never really has had time for me and mom. I had never complained earlier but now when I see my mom suffering and keeping unwell and my Dad not giving time to her is really painful. Today, was disastrous in the morning. When I woke up I saw that Dad had already left even before it was 7:00 AM. He is now the head of the institute and can easily manage time but he never does that and that is disturbing mom a lot. Even I am busy with music and can't spare time but dad can but he doesn't. I cannot afford to skip these studio sessions. It is painful for me but this is my job and I enjoy it too. I don't really know what I am gonna do and moreover yesterday I got a test done and I have been diagnosed with mild Borderline Personality Disorder that is a psychological disorder and It is difficult for me to go home and face the situation as I might become overemotional there which I don't want. It is just very mentally disturbing and moreover everything happened in such a short course of time that I could not just keep myself calm anymore." 

Arshi was speechless listening to Rahul and was herself on the verge of tears. She knew what BPD was and how difficult it gets for the patients to control their emotions and stay calm. She could understand Rahul's pain. She did not speak a word but went to him and tightly hugged him and reassured him, holding hands and stated that everything would be fine and he need not worry. Rahul was touched seeing Arshi's tears and felt strangely comfortable with her. Rahul said smiling, overwhelmed seeing her understand him,"Thank you Arshi. I am so grateful to have had you. My head was in a turmoil but I feel so much better talking to you. Thank you for listening to me and my rant. I had just had it within me for sometime and having no one to share it with, I felt just too broken and confused. Thank you so much for being with me and understanding me so well." Arshi smiled and replied," I am happy that you are better now. It was so difficult for me to see you lost today. I am always there for you. Happy that you shared it with me. Don't you worry everything will be fine. Don't think so much." 

Rahul and Arshi decided to leave at about 3:30 AM. Rahul dropped Arshi home and then returned back to his place. In the car, both of them were completely silent and there was a song playing in the music system of his car "Lag ja gale ke phir yeh haseen raat ho na ho.(embrace me today. You never know if this beautiful night will ever come again.)" The silence was not an awkward one. It was just so comfortable. Rahul looked at the road and drove while Arshi just looked out of the window and enjoyed the wind that played with her hair. 

Arshi reached home changed her clothes and thought about what Rahul had said and imagined the pain that he was going through. She promised herself that she will always be with him to support him no matter whatsoever. She felt that Rahul was so strong to have held those feelings within him without letting anyone know about it. But the moment he expressed himself and cried in front of her, She was overwhelmed. She loved the vulnerability that he had shown in front of her. She felt happy to have been there for him. 

Rahul on the other hand was happy and rather relieved as he had found a confidant in Arshi. The level of intimacy between them was so different from the one that he had ever shared with anyone. He remembered the car ride and how comfortable they both were sitting silently and just giving each other the space yet feeling so connected. He was grateful to his stars to have given him such a great friend. But he knew the feeling that he had for her was not just that of friendship but something more extra ordinary than that. He could feel that he was falling in love and it was so new and different for him. Arshi had understood him so well and had been by his side during his vulnerable moments. She had given him a shoulder to cry on and a heart to rely on. He was happy to have felt that but he had no idea what the future had in store.