Forever Trapped

Chapter 4

"No," I said firmly. 

My no does not mean I'm up for negotiation. It means exactly what I said. No.

I'm very firm with a lot of things so even if my own mother would force me to meet this good single doctor, the son of some person I don't even know. I mean, the sentence sounds absurd already. I wish they would know that.

I'm not as stupid as my fucking brother. How I badly want to say that.

"You know that you still have to go with us right?"

We're supposed to go to Europe this Christmas. Excited pa naman akong pumunta and I was even willing to ignore the fact that I'd see my brother's fiance pero hindi pa nga nakakasal si Kuya Zander, parang pakiramdam ko ay binubugaw na din ako.

"No thanks," I tried to sound cool. I've never spent Christmas alone but that plan sounds better than spending it with my family right now. "I can manage here, Mom. Besides, madami din naman akong gagawin." which is an obvious lie. Kasing obvious ng pag-ayaw ko.

Eh, malayo pa din naman ang pasko. It's two weeks away from now. I can arrange a party or find a party, whatever. I can even pretend it's just like any other day or maybe do some shopping. That would make me feel better.

"Okay." I heard Mom say. "But no allowance for two months."

Nanlaki naman ang mata ko. How badly do they want me to meet that guy? Alam kong hindi ako ang pinakamabait na tao sa mundo and at times, I am not a good doctor but this... this is just a different level of parenthood.

I understand that they built the business from scratch but my goodness, are they willing to go to this length for money? Hindi naman ako baliw. I love money too at iyong sabi nilang hindi nabibili ng pera ang saya, they may not be wrong but that person's not right either.

Still, a no is a no.

"That's just two months. I'll survive." I told my friends. Tumango naman si Cynthia, agreeing to what I just said while Mikee was shaking her head in horror.

"Not me," sabi pa nito. 

"You should try being independent, girl." Cynthia told her. "It will change you." I know she means it dahil sa aming tatlo, siya ang naunang mag adulting. Their family has money but when she went abroad, she really tried to stand on her own two feet... wearing some stilettos from the family.

I know it's going to be hard but I'm kind of looking forward to it too.

"Let's not talk about this please!" Mikee begged. "Malapit na nga pasko but I'm getting horrified with the topic already. The thought of an empty wallet-" kunwari ay nanginig pa siya. "just... think of happy, happy thoughts. Saan ba kayo magbabakasyon? I know Zahara's family is going to Europe."

"Yep. Zara's family and that excludes me." Sabi ko na lang sa kanila. Maybe one of these two is free this Christmas. Let me try my luck.

"Magpapaiwan ka? Why?"

I really don't want to talk about it. It's such a silly topic. Parang napaka-walang kwenta lang ng rason. Definitely not my fault but I just don't want them to think badly of my parents. At least, that I'll do. 

"But you won't be alone, right?"

"I'll be alone but that's fine. I think I can manage."

"I'd invite you but we'll go to Bali this year."

"Go enjoy your vacation girls. I'll be fine as always. Don't worry."

Cynthia cleared her throat before speaking, "We'll just stay here in the Philippines to celebrate. Can you come to our family party?"

"What?" I immediately shook my head. Going to someone else's family celebration when my own family is somewhere celebrating just sounds sadder.

"What? Nothing wrong with that," she even insisted. "You're practically family."

"I know we're close-"

"Oh, I'm not talking about that, dear Zahara. If you marry my cousin-"

I threw the cushion at her face before she could even finish the sentence. I completely forgot about that person until now. I just want to erase his name and face in my memory. Hindi naman na siya nagparamdam after sending me a follow request that I immediately deleted.

"I was laughing at his face as I explained to him why you're not on his following list!"

Aba, nagkwento pa talaga siya! He doesn't seem to be the type but I can already tell that he's a kiss-and-tell type of person.

"My profile... or even my life is not for everyone. Besides, I'm sure you are just exaggerating everything. Phoenix is a hot guy. I know he knows that. He can play his game with anyone else but not me."

"I feel like all Fin would hear with that sentence is you telling him that he's a hot guy."

Mikee laughed and also looked entertained by our conversation. Talagang ginawa pa kaming source of entertainment.

"He likes Zahara that much?" She asked, amused.

Cynthia nodded while scrolling her phone. "Yes... That much. I can even tell he's begging me with his eyes to ask Zahara to let him follow her. What have you done to my cousin? Kung hindi lang talaga kita kaibigan, I'd think ginayuma mo siya." She said in a teasing tone but I think the joke is not funny anymore.

This is why I don't deal with guys I know I'll meet again. It's hard to cut ties when there are other people.

"What? Ew." This conversation is really making me dizzy. Cynthia's making it sound like the guy's in love with me when we have only seen each other twice at ni wala pa nga kaming matinong pag-uusap. All her claims are just unbelievable. This friend would easily pass as a master storyteller. "If that's true, just tell him I'm not looking for anyone. You know that already."

"Oh, I did already. But did he stop? Nope. I'm sure you're still on his mind, babe."