She Will Be Loved

Chapter 58: Goodbye

I've finally decided and ask Lucas to tell Liam to meet me after school at a cafe we used to go. My hands are shaking and sweating as I sit in the back seat on the way there.

"You'll be okay." Dean said looking at me through the rear mirror.

"Maybe this is a bad idea. You should turn around." Hanna says shifting herself to face Dean.

"It's fine. I need this." I told her trying to calm myself. "I'm just nervous, I guess."

"Are you sure? Like really really sure?" Hanna ask me with worry written all over my face.

"Yes." I nodded. "If I won't do it now, I don't know when will be the next good time."

We finally arrived at the cafe. Dean parked the car, I saw Liam's car already parked outside indicating that he's already waiting inside the cafe.

Hanna saw my expression change as I saw Liam's car. "Let's leave!" She tap at Dean's arm.

"No, it's fine." I told her and finally have the courage to open the door and hop out. "I'm fine." I mumbled to myself as I close the car door behind me.

"We'll wait for you here." Hanna said with the roll down window. I only nodded to respond to her and make my way to the cafe door. I released a deep sigh before pushing the door opened. The bell rings as it signalled my arrival at the cafe.

I scan the place and saw Liam sitting at a far end table looking anxious as he held his coffee. I walk towards him and his gaze immediately met my presence.

"Hi!" I greeted him before taking a seat opposite to his.

"Hi!" He straighten his back and placed his hands under the table, probably on his lap. "Do you want anything? You want a milk shake, right?" He ask holding his arms up to call the waiter.

"Yeah, sure." I answered.

Not a few minutes later my milk shake was delivered. The whole time we waited for the milk shake was just pure silenced and an exchange of nervous glances from time to time.

"Thank you." I said to the waiter and he left. Liam took a sip on his coffee and I took a good look at him first before finally speaking. As he place the cup back to the table, I took it as a cue to say something. "Liam-"

His beautiful eyes met mine, it was one of his features that I liked. You can seemly drown just by staring at it. He didn't say a word and just patiently waited for me to continue what I was going to say.

"I'm sorry." I said not breaking eye contact. "I'm sorry for pushing myself and pressuring you to like me back. I should have just gave up the first time you pushed me away. I was too naive and stupid to hope that I could make you happy, but I was clearly wrong." I lowered my gaze on my milk shake. This words seems to break my heart over and over again. "I was selfish and was only thinking about what I felt and not taking consideration of your feelings. I'm sorry."

"I should be the one to clearly apologized to you. All you did was try to save me from the love I thought i had. I should be ashamed for leading you on a relationship that I wasn't even sure of." I slowly look up to him as he let out the words. "I should have just told you that day on that bench that I won't be able to give you the love and care that you deserved. Now, look at where we are. I ruined the friendship that I should have cherished because of my stupid decisions."

"The friendship that we both shouldn't have crossed." I stated. "That I shouldn't have crossed."

"But I did liked you, Ellie. It might not seem true but I did. I liked you for your dedication, bright personality, concern, support and your passion." He leans forward to me.

"But never as a person to be with." My shoulders drop from the thought of him finally saying the words that I needed to hear.

"I tried, I tried so hard. I really did try, especially for what you did for me and my family. You brought us back together... but then because I made a wrong decision and let myslef be deceived by Astrid and ruin everything." He's face fell to a sadness. "I was ungrateful, a jerk, bastard, asshole and a piece of shit. I should have just pushed her away but instead I let myself back to the hole that you pulled me out from."

"You are better than those things and I know that. Maybe this wasn't just the time for us, maybe we weren't meant to each other." I said realizing things for the first time.

"I hurt you so many times and I know that I should not be allowed to have your forgiveness, but I still want to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the messed up things I did to you, you didn't deserve them." He held my hand in his. "And maybe you're right, maybe we really aren't meant to be with each other."

That words stings my eyes. I wanted to hear them but I wasn't ready to accept them. "You deserve so much better than an asshole like me. You deserve someone that will be able to give you all his love with no doubts and regrets." He added.

"We both deserve someone like that." I commented trying to smile and held back my tears. "Maybe someday."

"Yes, someday." He nodded giving me a smile. "I'm sorry, Ellie. I really do."

"I am forgiving you but I don't know if I will be able to forget about everything that happened. It hurts and it still does, but I'll try to regain myself." I told him.

"You shouldn't be hurting." He said. I slowly pulled my hand away from his grip and held his in mine instead.

"I'm probably hurting now but I know soon I'll be okay. We will be okay. We've done things that made us hurt each other, I know you felt guilty about what went down and I do too. I did things that I didn't know I could." Referring to the cause of Astrid expulsion from the school. "It didn't made me feel happy but worst to be honest."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He was started to cry and somehow I did too.

"It needed to be done in order to know what really matters and it is to be able to love yourself first. You have to give yourself the love it deserve. We just didn't love ourselves enough, that lead us to what happened." I held tighter to his hands. "Promise me that you'll work on yourself and be better,  because I will."

He nodded tears still falling from his eyes. "I will."

"Thank you." He frown at my words. "Thank you for the memories, it wasn't all bad." I gave him a smile as I wipe my tears away as I let go of his hand.

"We did have some good times." He did as well. "So, this is really the end?"

"I guess." I shrug my shoulder.

"Thank you for the forgiveness." He says.

"Just don't go hurting another girl again or I'll make you regret it really next time." I gave him a chuckle.

"Will I ever find someone better than you." He looks at me sadly.

"You will. We sure both will." I gave him an encouraging smile. "I should go now, I have dinner to attend to." I said slowly getting up from my chair.

"Okay." He nodded.

"Goodbye, Liam." I said before finally leaving the place and my pain behind.

"Goodbye." I even heard him say.

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Bye guys!