As If It Was Easy

Chapter 21

"BLAINE!" Kurt screamed.

He ran over, quicker than he could process, and knelt down beside him. He tried shaking him and then cupping his hands over his own mouth in horrified gasps.

"Blaine! Babe, please wake up!"

He ran back to grab his phone and call 911 before Blaine's eyes began to flutter open.

"Oh my god, Blaine! W-what happened!?"

He kept his hand over Blaine's head, checking for any abnormalities.

"I'm fine, Kurt."

"No, you're not! Don't even try that, okay? Did Jack do this? Did he hurt you? Did you go find him? Wait, is that where you went!?"

"No!" The gelled boy exclaimed.

After a short silence, he added, "Maybe... But it wasn't intentional!"

He sat up on the couch, wincing at the pain, and then noticing the red on his hands.He didn't hear Kurt say he was going to get Blaine an ice pack and some bandages. His brain seemed to replay the events in his head over and over again. Blaine held his hands over his ears as if that would drown his thoughts out.

"Blaine...?" Kurt said.

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Blaine, it's okay. I'm not upset with you, I'm just worried..."

"No! I fucked up, Kurt! He knows my weakness and he's gonna take us down! He doesn't play nice!"

"I'm confused. What's your history with this guy? Why does he hate you so much?"

"He's like my very own Dave Karovsky. Except he has way more allies and..." He lowered his voice. "He's not afraid of guns..."

"He's not afraid of what?!"

"Nothing."

Kurt sighed. "Blaine, you've got to explain! This has gone too far! I mean look at you, there's more to this guy than you're letting on."

"It's just something I don't like talking about!"

"Well, your gonna have to!"

"I want to stay the way I am, Kurt! If I tell you, it'll just make things even more complicated than they already are! Please just drop it..."

They sat in silence for a moment before Kurt spoke again.

"So, there's a bully that possibly possesses a gun. He literally just beat the shit out of you, and you won't tell me why he did it because what? You still wanna be a badass?!"

"It's complicated."

"Well, it wouldn't be if you'd let me help you through it!"

"Don't you get it? I'm trying to keep you safe!"

"From what? I can fend for myself, thanks. Bottling up your emotions isn't gonna do any good for either of us."

"I don't do feelings, Kurt. I never have, and I never will."

"We both know that's not true..."

Another short silence. Kurt finally noticed that he'd never tended to Blaine's cuts and began to aid his boyfriend.

"Remember your dad...? You kept that from me for so, so long. But when you finally told me, it felt good. I could tell. You were a happier person even if you were scared of what was to come. It's like you're giving in to a second father, except he's a blonde teenage boy named Jack."

Blaine covered his face again to hide the moisture beginning to form in his eyes. He knew he was going to cry, but he was trying as hard as he possibly could not to. Of course, it was inevitable. Kurt got up and sat next to him, placing his hand on Blaine's obviously tensed back. That's when he finally started to explain.

"J-Jack..." Blaine began. "I told you I was afraid of coming out because of my father.... I wasn't entirely telling the truth."

Kurt, listening intently, urged him forward.

"When you and I were kids and like... best friends or something, Jack always suspected I was gay. I used to think he was insane, and truly, I was homophobic because I didn't like myself. I didn't like... or want to accept the fact that I was, in fact, gay. And in love with you..." He paused to glance at Kurt who was blushing. "By the time I'd figured out who I really was, we... made a deal. If he left me alone, I'd leave him alone. There was something off about him when we'd had that conversation, but I didn't question it out of fear. I'd taken a boxing club over the summer we were apart and essentially became the person I am now: a 'badass.' That was basically me trying to straighten myself out... which didn't work out... at all..."

"So... your dad didn't have much to do with this at all, did it?"

"N-not really... I thought I was afraid of him disowning me but I'm honestly kind of glad he did... Now I didn't have to be under his rules, I thought I could be myself until this whole Jack thing played out. That's what I was really afraid of..."

"So lemme get this straight..." he paused before whispering, "Bad choice of words..."

Blaine motioned for him to continue what he was originally about to say.

"He didn't like you when we were kids, and mysteriously backed off one day. You turned into... you... and now he's back? Well, if you're stronger, shouldn't you be able to take him now?"

"That's what I thought but whenever I see his face I think about when I wasn't able to fight back. I was so helpless then. And then I think about you and my brain just goes to shit."

"What do you mean, you 'think about me...?'"

"At least let me keep that to myself..."

He followed Kurt's eyes when they were drawn back to the hands he was trying to wrap.

"Well, I think you've suffered enough... Let's just go to bed, okay?"

Blaine was confused by that statement and further concerned when he glanced out the window at the starry sky. He followed Kurt to his bedroom and gave him a small peck on the lips before beginning his skin care routine. When they were settled for the night, Kurt was in Blaine's arms as usual. Despite the current situation, Blaine was content with having the person he loved with him. And Kurt had been right that it felt better to let out his emotions even if it took a knuckle sandwich to let him see that.

Just as he was dozing off, Kurt whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Blainey."

"I love you." Blaine whispered back.