Wish

Chapter 7

On Wednesday, I was sat at 'our' table waiting for the rest of my friends to arrive and scrolling through Twitter on my phone to pass the time. I was earlier than everyone else because I had briefly left school for a doctor's appointment, I was fine, I just had to renew my contraceptive prescription, so I had about ten minutes before my friends would be joining me. My twitter feed was full of people hyped up about a party on Friday night. It's bad enough that it was all people were talking about during lessons, now I had to see it all over Twitter too. The idea of going to a party with all of my classmates after what happened at the last party made me feel a little nauseous. I guess my social life from here on is going to be more junk food and movies than underage drinking.

A short while later I heard the voices of my friends coming nearer. "I'm so excited for this party on Friday!" "Oh my God, I haven't a clue what to wear!" "Who's betting Oliver is going to get so drunk he think's he's The Rock again?" "Hey that was one time!"

"Don't tell me you guys are all going to this party." I groaned as they sat down around me.

"Well duh! I love a party, and so do you if I'm not mistaken." said Phoebe, sitting across from me with Oliver's arm slung over her shoulder, holding a sandwich in his free hand.

"Well it's a bit different now considering the majority of people going don't like me and think I'm a nun." I pointed out, resting my head in my hand as I sulked. Parties used to be fun, an excuse to drink and have a good time with classmates and just let loose. Now, the idea of a party made me think about how it felt walking up the corridor to that room, opening the door, seeing my boyfriend balls deep in someone who was not me and couldn't even be drunkenly mistaken as me, feeling my heart break into a million tiny pieces. Not my idea of fun. At all.

"Well then you either have to prove them wrong or stop caring about what they think." said Emma. Easier said than done. I pulled a face letting them know I wasn't buying it. Please, like I could do either of those things. I wasn't about to have sex with someone loud mouth boy who would tell everyone about the experience just to stop the rumours going around about me and I found it incredibly difficult not to care about how others saw me.

"Come on, you have to come! I bet it would make you feel good to get all dressed up and let loose. You need some fun!" Phoebe begged me, reaching across the table to grab my hand pleadingly.

"Please come, it won't be as fun without you." Emma added, placing her hand half on top of Phoebe's half on top of mine.

"Yeah!" said Oliver and Justin.

I looked around at each of my friends, they were all pulling sad puppy dog faces. I looked at Justin, who was sitting beside me, last. As if sensing my anxiety about attending the party, he nudged his hand that was placed next to mine on the table so his fingers brushed against mine. I glanced down wondering if anyone else noticed.

"We'll all be there for you, if you ever want to leave then we'll leave. But we'd all enjoy the night a lot more if you're with us." He said genuinely, forcing my gaze back up to his. I held his gaze for a few seconds and felt my resolve crumbling. He sounded so sincere and I knew that if anything went wrong, I had amazing friends to back me up. I let out a resigned sigh.

"Okay fine, I'll go." I said reluctantly. My friends cheered and dropped the subject, moving on to talk about homework and TV shows and whether Mrs Moore had a boob job over the summer holidays or not. I ate the Greggs sausage roll that I had bought on the way back from the doctors silently, observing my friends but not joining in the conversation.

"Muffin?" Justin said holding a muffin out to me with a big grin on his face. I couldn't stop the huge smile that formed on my face as I took the muffin and pulled away the casing. He just keeps getting better. I looked up at him, thanking him silently. I took a bite of the muffin, yum blueberry, then held it out towards him. Not even taking it out of my hand he leaned forward and took a huge bite from the other side, getting crumbs all over his mouth and chin. Giggling, I reached out and wiped at his bottom lip with my thumb, brushing away the crumbs. Our eyes locked and suddenly it felt very intimate. I slowly moved my hand away, feeling my cheeks warm, and turned back towards our friends. Unfortunately, they witnessed the whole thing and were looking at us with a mix of humour and surprise. Phoebe looked like she was about to shit rainbows. Thankfully, I could hear the bell ring in the distance signalling the end of lunch. After gathering up our things and disposing of our rubbish, I walked with Phoebe to our next class, the look she gave me on the way said it all.