Wish

Chapter 14

Okay so this chapter is a little bit heavy, we get into the feels a bit so let me know what you think!

~~~~~

The following weekend I was vegged out in bed watching Netflix, which was how I spent most of my time these days, when the doorbell rang. I would have ignored it but for all I knew Mum had ordered something online and it was a delivery so I thought it was better to check. The house was cold because I couldn't be bothered to leave my bed and turn the heating on so I wrapped the duvet around me and took it downstairs to see who was at the door. I made a mental note to turn the heating on before I retreated back upstairs to my bed.

I opened the door and much to my surprise standing on my doorstep was Phoebe, Oliver, Justin and Emma. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked, blinking a few times as I processed what was in front of me.

"We're worried about you." said Justin.

"Well you have nothing to worry about, I'm fine." I said starting to shut the door but Justin reached out and stopped the door from closing.

"No, you're not, and we're not leaving." he said sternly. The others nodded in agreement.

"That's right. So, let us in and let us help you." said Phoebe sternly. I looked at each of my friends and saw care and determination on their faces. I felt like such a shit friend. I didn't deserve their concern. My eyes watered and my lip wobbled as I was on the brink of bawling my eyes out. Phoebe pushed past Justin and threw her arms around me. "It's okay." she said as she stroked my back soothingly.

"So, tell us what's been happening from the start, and don't leave anything out." Phoebe said as we sat down in the living room. And so, I began to tell them the whole story. How when they weren't around, boys would come up to me offering sex, how I got tagged in posts and sent messages calling me disgusting and ugly and how no one likes me because I'm a huge slut, how I got messages offering sex from the boys who didn't have the balls to do it in person and how after my phone number was plastered around school I'd been receiving numerous phone calls everyday to the point where I didn't want to turn my phone one. Lastly, I told them about how I found out my Dad was moving in with the other woman and how we hadn't really spoken in months. As I spoke I stared down at my hands, I didn't feel like I could look at them all as I told them the things people had been saying to me. I knew I'd feel bad for making them feel bad and would stop talking and play it off like it wasn't so bad. But it was bad, and they needed to know because they care for me. By the end of my monologue, my throat felt dry and my face was wet with tears. Aside from physically feeling a bit shit, I mentally felt a bit better for finally telling someone, or a few someones, everything. I felt like some of the weight that's been permanently on my chest had been lifted ever so slightly.

"We didn't know it was as bad as that." Emma said quietly. I finally looked up at my friends and saw a mix of shock, disgust, anger and sadness on their faces. I guessed it was hard for them to realise they had no idea what was really going on when their backs were turned.

"Does your Mum know?" asked Phoebe gently, as if she didn't want to say the wrong thing after our last conversation, well argument.

"No, she's got enough going on. I think she's taken Dad moving in with this Carol harder than the actual affair." I still resented my Dad for what he'd done to my Mum, he's hurt her beyond words and I didn't think I could ever forgive him. I was sure my tone when I mentioned him told my friends that much.

"So, how are you? I mean, I know you're not doing good, but what's going on in your head?" Justin asked from the doorway. He'd stayed standing, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, as I told them everything. Part of me wondered if it was because he was ready to go and fight anyone who had hurt me.