We Can be Heroes {Sanders Sides Superhero AU}

Chapter 60

TW: Deceit, Remus, Mentions of Abuse, Refusing to Sleep, Mentions of Hallucinations, Anxiety, Mentions of Paranoia.

Day One-Hundred and Thirty | Sunday | July 17th

Deceit stood in the kitchen alone, carefully leaning against the countertop in front of him. Bags had formed under his eyes from countless nights of not sleeping well. Actually, he hadn't slept a healthy amount in one-hundred and thirty days, last night was the first and you could barely even call it real sleep. Remus had asked his little cousin to put him to sleep when Deceit wasn't paying attention. When he woke up he didn't know whether to be mad or thankful, so he settled on the first and carefully showed Remy exactly what happens when someone uses their powers on him. 

Remy hadn't appreciated that Deceit wasn't expecting him to, and ended up leaving the hous to go on a walk and find some good coffee. Remus had gotten mad at him for it, telling Dee that it was his fault Remy had used his powers on him and not to treat him like that again. As crazy as Remus was family had always been important to him, that part of him had only gotten stronger when Virgil ran away.

 The fact of the matter was that in their own sick and cruel way they did love Virgil. Even when they knew that he was with those three heroes and that he was more than likely working against them. Even after that whole stunt, he pulled yesterday by helping the heroes defeat Remy. After everything he did, they still loved him. God, why did they ever adopt him? Loving him, and caring about him, that was never part of the plan. The plan was to take him, train him, and mold him into being a villain like them. Like them was the keyword there. But Virgil wasn't like them.

The boy had always been too sensitive for the job. He didn't want to hurt people. It hurt him to hurt people, and not physically like it did to Remus, it hurt him emotionally. It would tear him up in a way that neither of the other two could understand, though they had tried. Remy had been closer to understanding, but even he never felt much remorse for hurting others. Deceit remembered how Virgil would come back from attacks only to lock himself up in his room for hours at a time, they'd hear him struggle through anxiety attacks, and underneath the door, they'd see the shadows shifting around. 

They tried to help, but after a few tries, they learned that their efforts were useless. So they'd leave Virgil alone, letting him work through his attacks himself. They'd let him know that he had a meal in the microwave, and would do a quiet activity so as to not make it worse. And when he eventually came out they would ask him if he was okay, he would say he was. They knew it was a lie. He knew they knew it was a lie. But they also knew that Virgil was smart, and if he was really struggling he'd come to them. Except he hadn't that night.

He hadn't come to Deceit and that was completely understandable, but he could have gone to Remus at least. He didn't even have to say anything, he could have just knocked on the door to his room and gone in, or even just looked at him, and Remus would have known. And even though they were far from the best at it Remus would have at least tried to make him feel better. He would have done anything to prevent him from running away, they both would have. 

Would it have been different if Deceit hadn't said what he said? At the time he had meant it, there was no doubt about that. He had been mad. He had been mad at Virgil he had been mad at Remus, he had been mad at those stupid heroes, he had even been mad at himself. But he had taken it out on Virgil and that had been his mistake. Remus could have taken it, Remus understood that Deceit was just mad and after he calmed down he would have apologized and didn't mean it. But Virgil was sensitive to that kind of thing, and even though Dee knew that he had gone and yelled at him anyway.

God this was all his fault.

"Dee?" Remus called from the hallway "Do you know if we have any more of that deodorant that tastes like pickles? I can't find any and-" He stopped as he caught sight of his boyfriend They had never bothered with marriage, they loved each other, they knew that. They were married in spirit. Yet somehow both preferred the term boyfriend to husband. So that's what they were, they were boyfriends sometimes partners. "Dee, what's wrong?"