Vivid

XVII

How long will this staring contest last?

I didn't look away from his gaze. My heart skipped a beat when he started to cross the space between us and stopped when he was only a meter away from me. I remove my look from his direction. I just don't want him to get the idea that I became conscious with my look. And he's near, I might end up lying on his bed, again.

I brushed my hair using my fingers after I realized that it was messy because of Kaye.

"What do you want?" I hit up while looking at my feet. I have to remain standing, I won't let this jelly feeling in my knees ruined my walls.

"Are we still on that question, Yves?" He firmly asked. I can sense from his words that he's sure we're done with my question. I turn up my gaze, meeting his eyes. "Aren't we?" I asked throwing back his question.

His forehead creased. Looking so confused with our standpoint right now. "Let's stop pushing and pulling each other, Yves. Hindi na tayo bata!" He throw those words like he was done with all the bullshits that we have. Like any moment I might pull his pin and he will explode like a bomb. I rolled my eyes and take my seat back to the couch.

"Why, Clyde? Don't tell me you're thinking we're already okay just because we had sex?" I told him with a mocking tone in my voice. I gave him a wide smirk. Insulting him even more.

Rage filled his eyes. After a moment he's already in front of me pinning me to the backrest of the couch. I had to control my breathing or else, my body will protest because of lack of oxygen. "We didn't had sex, Yves! We made love!"

I laugh with his statement. I tried so hard to hide my nervousness not letting him control my whole existence unlike the fire I let last night. "Is that a joke? That was just a booty call! If you're not the one who drove me home I might do the same with the other man. You're young, you won't understand that." I answered with all my might. I didn't let myself stutter while those words played in my mouth.

Malakas na hinampas niya ang backrest. Dama ko ang buong pagbagsak ng kaniyang kamay sa couch dahil sa akin ito nakasentro ngunit hindi ako direktang tinamaan. Kumuha siya ng maraming hangin at matagal na hinayaan iyon sa kaniyang baga bago iyon inilabas muli.

Nanatili ang kamay niya sa magkabilang gilid ko habang nakayuko ang kaniyang ulo. I can hear his heavy breathing. He was trying too hard not to throw words that might hurt me. He was trying too hard to control himself.

"Just because you're older than me my feelings aren't valid anymore, Yves. If I need to show you how I can set your body on fire, I will do it again and again. I will do it multiple times. Use me all you want. Just don't throw me away after, Yves." He lean on me. Putting his face on top of my bare shoulder. I felt how his eyes became moist then, wet. I stiffed.

In between his sniff, he started saying something again, making me froze in my seat. I don't know what to say, what to do and what to react.

"I'm lost, babe. I'm lost." Did my heart just stop beating? I can't breathe. My eyes started to water. There's a force inside me that wants to remove this hard feeling that making it hard for me to breathe. I want to scream with all my voice out.

"Clyde,"

"Five minutes, Yves. Five minutes. If you still don't want me here, I'll go," The tears I was holding on a while ago started to make its way out of my eyes. I tried to process the painful feeling inside me. How did we come into this situation?