A Billion Stars

Chapter 7

"What-" I try to get out, my mouth opening and closing. "Why-" I try again but I can't get my words to form sentences. "I shouldn't have touched you like that Nini. That was so stupid of me and I've felt terrible all day." My mouth opens in shock and I open the door for him to slip into the apartment. "Why would you apologize? I  ran out of your place like an idiot." I say as I close the door and move to sit on my couch. Ricky moves to sit on my piano bench, facing me and he looks a little shocked. "Why would I apologize?" He asks, his voice completely bewildered. "It was my fault. I made you uncomfortable Nins." I shrug and reach for the kombucha he brought me, pulling my legs up and under me on the couch. "It doesn't matter. I just got scared and I'm sorry for running out on you like that." I admit and he frowns, pushing his hair back. "I don't want you to apologize." He tells me earnestly. I look down and subconsciously, I start to rub the base of my wrist in thought. The same wrist that Ricky grabbed, and the same wrist that EJ would pull on a little too hard. I don't realize that Ricky is slowly approaching me, and when he's standing right in front of me I look up at him. His hand reaches out carefully, and I watch as he takes ahold of my wrist loosely. His touch sends warmth flooding through my body and all I can focus on is the gentle way he holds my wrist. "Why were you scared?" He asks quietly and I look back down, shaking my head. "Really it's nothing. Plus we just met. Don't want to scare you away." I joke and he sits next to me on the couch, far enough for me to feel comfortable but close enough to keep me paying attention. "You know, we spent the entire day together yesterday. Pretty soon, you can't use that excuse anymore." I laugh and shake my head. "True but-" He cuts me off and I feel his thumb rub against my wrist, my heart responding by pounding against my chest. "You don't have to tell me yet. I unfortunately have a pretty good guess. But please don't ever apologize for feeling uncomfortable. You had every right to run out of there this morning." I smile softly and lean my head against the couch cushion. "Thank you." Is all I can manage to get out, but it's enough, and he responds by continuing to rub my wrist. 

After a few moments I pull my hand away and reach for the bag from Whole Foods. "You're here to join me right?" I ask and Ricky smiles. "If you want me to." He says and I nod, a small smile spreading across my face. "Gotta say Nins, this place looks amazing for just 6 hours of work." I laugh and look around myself. "When I get super determined, my best work happens." Ricky scoots closer to me on the couch (definitely for a better angle to reach his food) and his facial expression turns a little more serious. "I get that." He says quietly and I look at him, his eyes searching mine carefully. "Are you sure you're okay with me being here?" He asks and I swallow hard, looking at my lap then back at him. "Of course I am. I know it might not make much sense, but you weren't the reason I left this morning. It's-" He cuts me off and nods. "How I touched you. I know. I'm so sorry." He says and I shake my head. "No I mean, yes but-" Ricky scoots a little closer to me and my heart starts to pound as he stares at me intently but gently. "I haven't had the best experience with guys, well one guy in particular. But he's all I know and so I'm kinda navigating your species blindly." I joke and he smiles a little, his eyes sparkling. "Species huh?" I laugh and look down at my hands. When I look back to him he tilts his head. "Was it a heartbreak?" I bite my lip and shake my head. "Not really. I was happy to see him go." I whisper out, knowing if I raise my voice up it'll break with emotion. "What did he do to you?" Ricky asks me and I shake my head. "Nothing I can't get over with time. It's only been a couple months though without him in my life and believe me, it's been some of the best months I've had in a long time. But when you grabbed me I was just taken back to being with him."  Ricky takes a deep breath and attempts to make eye contact with. "I wish I hadn't done that." He says and I shrug. "I didn't know something that simple would trigger me, to be honest. You didn't do anything wrong so you shouldn't feel bad." I say. He looks like he's thinking and then he speaks up. "Did he physically hurt you?" I stare at Ricky and I know that he knows the answer to the question, so he sighs and looks down. "Thank you for trusting me." He whispers and I look at him, a little confused. "I know how hard this must be to talk about, especially because I've only just come into your life, but I'm so grateful to know you trust me." I think for a second, sitting back on the couch and I bite my lip. "I don't talk about what happened often. Only one person in my life knows about what he- what we- what my relationship was like." I say and Ricky nods knowingly. "But knowing that you know, even just a little makes me feel better." I admit and somehow, Ricky's body gets even closer to mine. My breathing hitches (hopefully unnoticeably) as our legs touch and I see the emotion flash through his eyes. "I promise as long as I know you, I will never do anything like that asshole-" I cut him off. "He wasn't-" Ricky's eyes narrow. "Yes he was. Anyone who scars a girl so badly that she can't be touched on the wrist by another guy is an asshole." I frown and nod. "You're right. Look at me, I'm still defending him." Ricky smiles gently and pushes his curls from his forehead. "I've known you for twenty four hours and I know without a doubt you have one of the biggest hearts, of course you'd defend him." I smile and I know I'm blushing lightly. "You're really improving my thoughts on men." Ricky's laugh is bright and his eyes sparkle a little as he meets my eyes. "That's my plan."