A Billion Stars

Chapter 50

"How did you find-" Ricky cuts me off before I can finish. "We'll get to that part in a second. Why did you send me that text and then disappear. What happened?" He asks and I frown, pulling away but keeping a tight hold on his hands. "I... I heard..." Ricky frowns and rubs his thumb across the back of my hand. "You have to tell me Nins." I nod and sigh. "Yesterday, I heard you on the phone. You said..." My voice turns to a whisper. "I heard you say I was broken. Completely broken were your exact words and I, I couldn't do it over again. I've known you for only two weeks and yet you're someone who has my heart and I can't take another heartbreak. I just can't." I whisper and his eyes cloud over with emotion. "Nins, fuck." He says and he shakes his head, holding onto my hands a little tighter. "I know that must've sounded really fucking bad, but I wasn't just like hey I need a topic to talk about, oh I know! Okay? Red asked me how the day went and I really needed some advice from him. I'm about to be with someone who had the world crash down on her, who's had to tear herself apart in order to rebuild her life and I didn't know how else to convey to him that you weren't just overexaggerating or playing hard to get. This is real, you were... I don't know, broken down." He whispers the last part as if he's worried his words will hurt me. I take a deep breath to steady myself as I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. "So I'm not jumping to any conclusions? That was me you were talking about?" Ricky frowns and squeezes my hands. "Yeah but-" I cut him off and shake my head. "No it's fine. It's okay, really." I shrug, my words breaking slightly despite me wanting to come off as collected. Ricky frowns deeper and one of his hands moves to my back, pressing it against me firmly. "I'm scared as fuck." He whispers. "I'm scared that something's going to happen between us. I had to ask for advice and yeah, I definitely could've used a different word but Red just doesn't get it-" I turn off my brain, and I take a deep breath before surging forward to connect our mouths. I thread my fingers through his hair at the base of his neck and it feels as though I ignite when I feel Ricky returning my kisses. He's urgent, as if when we pull back I'll run away from him again. His breathing is heavy and it's all I'm focusing on as his lips continue to trace over mine. When we finally do pull back to take a breath, I press our noses together. "Very few people do. That's why you're one of the only people I've opened up to. I shouldn't have run like that, I'm sorry I'm just-" Ricky gives me a small smile. "Scared." He breathes out and I nod. "Two people scared shitless, and yet somehow I still think we're gonna be the most powerful together." He says proudly and I laugh, moving closer to him and looking off into the distance. "I'm not gonna run anymore." I promise him again and he nods, rubbing my back. "Like I said before, even if you do, you're gonna have a hard time shaking me off." I laugh and press my forehead against his chest. "Okay." I whisper and I feel my heart swelling with happiness. His breathing has turned deep and steady and I bite my lip to contain all the emotion I'm feeling. I feel his fingertips on my jaw and he speaks again. "Wait, are your parents really in town or-" I cringe and shake my head, pulling back to look him in the eyes. "Uh, no not really. So do you want to go out with me tonight?" I ask quickly and he laughs brightly, using his thumbs to brush the hair back from my forehead. "Cutest way to distract me, and yes I'd love to." He tells me softly before pressing his lips to mine. "Did you... did you get the advice you were looking for?" I ask, my voice coming out as a whisper against his lips. Ricky's eyes are trained on my mouth but he looks up briefly, locking eyes with me. "I think so." He whispers back and I nod, resting my head against his chest and breathing in his scent.